Trading Spaces
by CuteMooglez
Summary: COMPLETED! (Sequel Info. posted) Selphie and Squall are complete opposites. But what happens when they trade places? No one knows except for them...when will they go back to normal? WILL THE MADNESS NEVER END! R&R!
1. Trading Spaces

Disclaimer: We don't own Final Fantasy VIII or any of the characters…

A/N: Hey people what's up? This is our first FF8 fic so yeah. This was writen late at night after a major pixie stix high so enjoy!

Trading Spaces

"Squall, please report to the headmaster's office, Squall please report to the headmaster's office." Said a loud voice over the intercom. Squall got up out of his desk in the back of Instructor Quistis Trepe's room and left without saying anything. Once he got in the hall the intercom spoke again, "Also, Selphie Tilmitt, we need you in the office as well, Selphie Tilmitt." 

__

Great, I can't stand that woman. Squall was thinking to himself. He got in the elevator and ascended to the top floor and went through the doors to the headmaster Cid's office. Selphie was already in there bouncing up and down in place, Cid turned from where he was looking out the window to face the two SeeDs. 

"There has been a new threat that I would like you to take care of." Squall nodded, _of course, why else would we be called up here? _"Someone in Dollet was seen building a big machine. Whenever someone asks him about it he never answers, however strange rumors have been flying around that town. I want you to find out what the machine does, if it is no big deal then leave it alone. If it is something life threatening then destroy it. If you like you may take a few of your friends, but make it minimal."

"Woo-hoo! Yay! Another mission! I love missions! Don't you Squall?!" she exclaimed bouncing up and down again. _Why can't you just shut up? _

"Whatever," he replied. Squall started out of the room and down the hall, Selphie was following him still hyper as ever. 

"I'll show that machine! I'll give it a BAM! And a WHACK! Then! When it least suspects it, I'll give it a HI-YA!" she said throwing her fists in such a fashion that it reminded Squall vividly of Zell. 

"I'm sure you will…" Squall said in his usual almost monotone. _Cid said that we could bring someone, maybe I'll bring Rinoa…_ he thought, then he looked over at Selphie still bouncing around and saying what all she planned on doing to the machine. _Or maybe doctor Kadowaki…_

The two started down the elevator. "And then I'll give it another WHACK!"

"Will you just shut up?!" Squall screamed. Selphie looked up at him hurt, she looked down at her feet and didn't say anything for a whole 30 seconds, she then started ranting on about she was planning on bringing Irvine. 

"I promised him that we would go to Dollet some day, but I did say just the two of us, ::::sigh:::: but it will be fun! Huh Squally Wally?" Squall rolled his eyes, but then he did realize that Selphie had been quiet for a whole 30 seconds, which was a record for her. Once they hit the bottom floor they separated to find who they were taking, they promised to meet back up at the entrance.

Squall was walking to the Library, he actually had NO idea of where to find Rinoa. He doubted she would be in the training center, because she hated fighting ANYTHING even though she did help when asked. The dormitories perhaps but why would she be there? (((Inserted A/N: Get your minds out of the gutters! Of course she isn't in Squall's bedroom…))) The cafeteria would be where Zell was, but not Rinoa, the only other place to check was the Quad. So he walked…and walked…and walked…and he finally made it to the Quad. He went down the several staircases and found her sitting and talking to Irvine and Selphie, _of course Selphie is here, that's just my luck. _

"Hey Rinoa," he said sitting by her. "We have another mission, would you like to come?" he asked. She smiled.

"Selphie was talking about it with Irvine, she said that she was inviting him." Squall turned to see Selphie literally hanging on to Irvine by the neck telling him how she is going to beat up the machine. "Yes, of course I would come! Do you think I would leave you with those two." she said and jokingly punched him in the shoulder. He gave a smile of relief. 

"Great! Well we need to be leaving for Dollet really soon, and since we can't take the whole garden with use we can use the Ragnarok!" Selphie exclaimed excitedly. Squall rolled his eyes and decided to go to his dormitory and pack before leaving. Rinoa followed him while Irvine followed Selphie to her dorm. 

Rinoa sat on Squall's bed while he busied himself looking for a bag. "So what is the mission? When Selphie talked to Irvine she just said that they were going on 'that trip to Dollet that they promised earlier'." She asked him.

"Well, someone is building some sort of 'evil machine' or at least that's what the headmaster seems to think." He explained as he pulled a suitcase out of the depths of his closet. "We are supposed to investigate it and if it really is 'evil' then destroy it." He finished as he laid it open on his floor and went to his dresser.

"Don't forget to pack extra underwear!" she teased. He just kept searching through his dresser. He pulled out some socks, some of his favorite belts, and of course his underwear and shoved them into his suitcase along with about five white T-shirts and his collection of black pants. After he finished him and Rinoa left to find Irvine and Selphie ready to go as well. The four of them walked out of Balamb Garden with their luggage in hand and boarded the Ragnarok. 

Selphie was at the wheel with Irvine next to her as usual. Once they set the course to Dollet, Squall and Rinoa decided they had enough of watching Selphie drive, there had been too many occasions when they almost crashed into a mountain side, or free fell into an ocean. So they sat as far from the cockpit as possible. Once Selphie landed the ship near Dollet (by crashing into the ground) the crew left their luggage in the ship and went into town to investigate. The sad thing was that they couldn't get any real information, all they ever got was rumors.

Rinoa, Squall, Selphie and Irvine all split up to talk to the locals. Rinoa had approached one man and asked, "Do you know anything about the machine this man is supposedly building like what it does or where it's located?"

The man just answered, "He plans on blowing up the moon and letting it free fall into the earth!" Rinoa decided that that answer was too advanced and that she should just ask where the machine is, so she did, and he replied, "over there…" pointing to a gigantic machine that made her wonder why they hadn't seen it before. She quickly rounded up the others and went to the machine.

"So like, what does it like do?" asked Selphie in her usual high pitch voice. _How the hell do you think I know? I just got here too… _Squall thought silently to himself as he walked around the machine. 

"Someone needs to keep guard so no one catches us here!" Irvine thought out loud. Squall shot up, he didn't think of that. "How about me and Selphie go keep watch?"

"No! I was asked to do this mission! I'm staying here! Take Rinoa with you!" Selphie argued. Irvine looked a little depressed, but just shrugged it off and walked away with Rinoa. After more examination Selphie shrieked, "What does this button do?" Squall went running to make sure she didn't push anything. He found her pointing to a button with the words 'Self Destruction' written over it. "Can I push it?! Huh? Huh? Huh?" 

"No!" he screamed. She looked depressed but then she found an operation manual on the ground by her feet. She started reading it while Squall kept examining it. He found the name of the machine written in red letters on one side it. The machine's name was 'The Big Switch "Hey Selphie! I think I know what the machine does! I think it…" but before he could finish he heard Selphie scream.

"So this is the button that turns it on!" as soon the words escaped her lips there was a beep that meant that a button was pushed and out of nowhere some beams came and zapped both him and Selphie. They laid there, unconscious for who knows how long when Rinoa and Irvine came running. Irvine was standing over Squall.

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly. Squall sat up and rubbed his head…his hair felt different…a lot different. 

"I think I'm alright…" he answered but his voice sounded extremely high in tone. He looked down in horror at the sight that he was wearing a bright yellow dress and he had breasts. Before he could scream Irvine wrapped his arms around him in a comforting like way. _Oh my God! I can't believe this! I'm going to kill Selphie! _"Let go of me!" he screamed. He reached for where he usually kept his gunblade but nothing was there. Then he remembered Selphie used nunchukus. He reached behind his (or her..) back and there they were. As he went running he heard Rinoa giggling

.

"What's so funny? I'm not laughing! That hurt! Rinny! Stop laughing!" Said Squall/Selphie. Rinoa was at this point cracking up, while standing up Selphie got a good look at herself. She was wondering why she felt so hot, she had that huge leather jacket on the whole time. After a minute of wondering why she had Squall's jacket on she screamed "Oh my God! You're me!" pointing to Squall.

(((From here on out when I say Squall, I am talking about the Squall in Selphie's body, and when I say Selphie I'm talking about the Selphie in Squall's body. So pretty much, they switched bodies…oki day?)))

"Can I talk to Sel…uh I mean Squall in private?" he asked grabbing her by the hand and dragging her off. "I'm going to kill you! You're boyfriend is hitting on me!" he said with clenched teeth. All Selphie did was titter. "We are going to get them to leave and we are going to switch back again and destroy this stupid machine!" He then dragged her back to the machine.

"Go stand back over there and keep watch! We'll handle the machine." Said Squall (as in the Squall in Selphie's body).

"Sefie? Do you feel okay? You are starting to sound an awful lot like Squall." Irvine asked stepping forward. "Maybe a kiss will make you feel better." Squall stared in horror as Irvine's lips came closer and closer to his. He looked over to where Selphie was standing trying harder then ever to try and stifle the laughter. 

"Get serious you two!" she exclaimed imitating Squall, she had wiped the smile off and she tried her best to look serious as she continued, "Now keep watch, we'll check up with you if we find anything out!" Irvine backed off and he and Rinoa went walking back to where they kept watch. 

"What button did you push?!" he asked once the others left, but Selphie just smiled slyly. 

"I'm not telling, I'm not telling." She said in a sing song voice while spinning.

From where Rinoa and Irvine were, Rinoa noticed 'Squall's' abnormal behavior, "What is he doing dancing around like that? That isn't like him at all! He seems so…perky…" Irvine just shrugged. 

"Who knows, ah watch out someone's coming!" he said, she quickly lost her train of thought and turned to face the incomer. 

Back to where Squall and Selphie were, Squall was trying desperately to find the instruction manual that Selphie had earlier. "I'm not telling! I'm not telling!" Selphie continued, she was still spinning but she slammed into the machine and fell to the floor unconscious once again. _Great, now she defiantly is of no help to me…_ Squall sighed and continued his search. When he finally came to the conclusion he decided to search the machine. Maybe if the button was on there it would be labeled. After looking for a very long time he found the button that supposedly started the machine back up. But he didn't read the label just over it. What he didn't know was that that was the exact same button Selphie ALMOST pushed earlier, the self destruct one. 

Without any warning the entire machine exploded into a million pieces with Squall next to it and Selphie unconscious close to it. The force knocked both down but didn't injure them too badly. The good news is that the explosion woke Selphie up. 

"Wh-what happened?" she stuttered. Squall looked at the where the machine had been in horror. 

"Shit! Now I'll be stuck like you until we can find the man who built this damn thing!" Squall started screaming. 

"Oh yeah, and I didn't shave my legs yesterday, just thought you ought to know when you shower next." said Selphie snickering again. 

"If you dare put a razor close to any part of my body while we are stuck like this I won't hesitate to kill you!" he screamed.

"It doesn't matter, you don't know how to work my nunchukus!" she squealed in pleasure. She was thoroughly enjoying herself. 

"What are we talking about?" Rinoa asked upon arriving in the middle of the conversation. 

"N-nothing…" Squall answered looking down, _no wonder why it's so hard to walk! How the hell do girls wear heels? _He inquired about the boots he was now wearing."Can we look for the guy that built this machine? I feel really bad about destroying it!" Squall said, trying his hardest to sound like Selphie. Over behind Rinoa he saw Selphie shaking her head as in saying 'amateur'.

"Why? Wasn't it in the mission to destroy it if it's bad?" Irvine asked.

"Well yes, but it wasn't bad! And if we don't, Balamb Garden could get sued! And if we get sued then it will all be our fault! And if it's our fault then we'll be punished! And if we are punished then it would hurt!…" Selphie was saying jumping up and down. Everyone looked at where 'their leader' was going ballistic.

"Alright, alright." Rinoa said slowing 'Squall' down. "We can go look for him."

The four searched all around town, they finally found the man who made it in a bar. "Are you the man who built the 'Big Switch?'" Selphie asked. She figured that if she got to be Squall then she got to be the leader, and Squall couldn't argue. 

"Yes I am…" said the drunkard looking up at them. Then he gasped, "Santy Clause? I can't believe I finally get to meet you!" he said jumping up and grabbing Irvine's hand. He was obviously so drunk that he was seeing things. "Why didn't you bring me that Malibu Barbie in the 2nd grade? That's all I wanted!" Irvine looked over at Squall, as if asking him for help, he just chuckled. _That's what you get for trying to kiss me! Sicko! _

"Just play along…" Selphie whispered to him while giggling. Rinoa turned to look at her. This was defiantly not normal behavior for Squall.

"Uh, Santy says that if you be a good boy and build him a new machine just like the one out there, then he will give you a Malibu Barbie." Irvine said uneasily. 

"I don't want a Malibu Barbie anymore! I want…" he looked around evilly, "your soul!"

"Uh…no. But we can still get you the Malibu Barbie…" Irvine started up again.

"Fine, I'll fix the machine." He said getting to his feet, but collapsing. "Watch out for that first step! It's a doozie!" he sighed as he decided to get back up again. Squall went to help him get up with Rinoa's help only to discover that all the benching he did back at the Garden didn't help Selphie any! He however managed to drag him to where the ruins of the machine was. The man looked around and studied the surroundings.

"What happened to it?" he screamed noticing that there was nothing left except a black spot on the pavement where an explosion had taken place. 

"Uh…" Selphie started shifting her weight nervously, "Someone rubbed against the Self Destruct button…and well…BOOM!"_ She really isn't doing a good job portraying me…_Squall thought again.

"Obviously…" the man said still examining the wreck. "Well…for me to fix this I will need…a…uh…thingy, you know that one…thingy…that has that…thing on it?" he said closing his eyes and snapping his fingers trying really hard to remember what he needed.

"A thingy that has that one thing on it?" Squall asked in his monotone that sounded horrible with Selphie's voice. Everyone stared at him, "Look mister, we will be happy to help you if you could tell us what you really need…"

"Sefie…are you sure you feel okay? I think you need to see a doctor." Irvine asked even more worriedly. 

"I'm fine!" Selphie answered. Everyone looked over to where 'Squall' was.

"We know you feel fine Squall…" Rinoa answered looking at him suspiciously. "You would never tell us if there was anything wrong with you anyway."

"Oops!" Selphie exclaimed putting her hands to her mouth (or should I say Squall's) and giggling like a lunatic. "I mean, uh, of course I feel fine…" she said now puffing out her chest. Squall rolled his eyes and looked up at Irvine.

"Yes I feel fine." Irvine stepped closer to embrace him but Squall stepped back. Irvine smiled playfully and tried again but Squall jumped out of the way a second time.

"Alright you two!" said Selphie, obviously feeling jealous. "No more play! We are going to help out this crazy old man!" Squall smiled at this…she was actually getting better. Now it was him that couldn't get used to her hyper happy-go-lucky attitude.

"A hammer! Yes that's what I need!" he screamed slapping himself on the head. "And I also need that one contraption…" _Oh great here he goes again…he's going to injure himself if someone doesn't help him out. _"A screw driver! Some…of those things you screw in…what are they called?"

"Screws?" Rinoa asked getting impatient.

"Precisely! And that stuff to go on the outside…sheet metal! Yes that should do it!" _Finally! Now we can get this looney his supplies and get changed back! _

"Well we'll take our leave of you now! You will bring you your supplies in a while!" said Irvine happily. "Aren't you excited Sefie? We get to go shop for supplies!" Irvine asked nudging Squall expecting him to answer in her high pitched excited squeal.

"I'm sooo excited. I just can't contain myself." He said in his monotone. Irvine looked at 'his girlfriend' in awe, he had never seen 'her' act so strange. Selphie couldn't contain herself and was jumping around giggling again. 

"Squall stop it! We are in public!" Rinoa kept scolding Selphie.

She just continued to dance around singing a song, "I love to shop, shop, shop! So to the shop I hop, hop, hop! To buy screwdrivers and hammers and…all that other stuff! I love to shop, shop, shop! So again to the shop I hop, hop, hop!" Rinoa looked at 'Squall'. If anyone can imagine him dancing around and singing a song about shopping it isn't a pretty thought…nor sight. Rinoa blushed and walked to catch up with 'Selphie'.

"What have you done to him?" she asked. "He's acting just like YOU!"

"Uh…" _this isn't fair! I can't act like Selphie more then she can act like me! _"What are you talking about…" _what is it that Selphie calls her? _"Rinny? I-I didn't do anything." Rinoa looked at him confused. She then stopped walking causing Selphie to run directly into her back and collapse. 

"Oh my God! Squall are you okay?" Rinoa asked turning around to see the limp body on the floor. _Now's my chance to act like Selphie…now what would she do at a time like this? I know!_

"Are you alright Squally Wally?" he screeched and sat down beside Rinoa and joined her in trying to wake Selphie up. Once Selphie came to she shrieked and backed up.

"I see me!" she said pointing to Squall. Squall shushed her but putting a finger to his lips but she started screaming.

"Squall! What the hell is wrong with you?" Rinoa asked slapping 'him' across the face.

"Squall?" she asked confused. "Oh yeah! Um…never mind…I guess I was seeing things." Squall rolled his eyes and got back up, _how can women wear these things? _He inquired about the dress. They started down the street, but Squall lost his footing trying to go up some steps near a convenience store and slipped. "Damn shoes! Damn dress! Damn stupid hair!" This set everyone off, not only was Irvine, Rinoa and Selphie looking, but so was the rest of the people on Carbuncle Rd. 

"That's it Sefie, you're going to the doctor…" Irvine said grabbing Squall's hand.

"But I don't wanna go!" Selphie complained, "wait a minute…damn? Stop looking at me people!" she yelled looking everywhere.

"You need to be shot!" Squall yelled at her, she looked down and shuffled her feet around.

"I don't like these stupid combat boots…" she finally said. Rinoa gave a sigh of disgust and walked faster, a lot faster. They finally went into the store, and Selphie started to sing again. "I like hammers, yes I do! I like hammers how bout you?" she squealed pointing at Rinoa in a flirtatious manner, "Yippee!" she finished throwing her hands up.

"That's it!" Rinoa screamed, "Squall this is NOT like you! Irvine!" she yelled at the cowboy who was busy looking at condoms. 

"Whoa man, who do you plan on doing with those…?" Squall said taking several steps back. Irvine looked at him with a big cheesy smile and Squall finally got it. "Oh my God! Rape! Rape!" everyone in the store turned to face them as Squall started running away.

"IRVINE!" Rinoa yelled again.

"What do you want from me?" he screamed in frustration.

"Take Selphie and Squall back to Balamb Garden on the Ragnarok. I'll buy all the crap and you can pick me up at five. We'll come back when the old man is done with the repairs. In the mean time…get them to a psycho ward…or a doctor, but they need help." She said waving him off. She was actually very worried about Squall, but the fact of the matter is that she would have to figure it out later.

Irvine shrugged and grabbed them and started out of the room. "Rinoa! Help!" Squall was screaming trying to get Irvine to let go of him, now Rinoa was really confused, but she didn't speak up. It seemed like over night Squall became addicted to crack or some other illegal substance, and Selphie now acted like a mature adult, and that was strange. 

*Back at the Ragnarok* 

(((Inserted A/N: This part skips around a lot, some of it is in Irvine's POV and some of it is in the narrators' POV, so hopefully we don't confuse you too much)))

Irvine lead Squall and Selphie into the cockpit of the Ragnarok, and to his surprise Squall jumped into the driver's seat. "Uh, Squall, you don't know how to pilot it…." He started, he looked behind him to see Selphie with her arms crossed leaning against a wall. _What is going on? _"Squall let Selphie pilot it…" he said again going to where Squall was sitting.

"But I wanna pilot it!" Selphie whined grabbing the control panel. 

"Squall…now you don't know how!" Irvine said again.

"Yes I do!" Selphie yelled back at him and curling her lip, Irvine raised his eyebrows at this. _What happened to him?!? _

"Selphie, while I restrain Squall get over here and take the controls!" Irvine said grabbing who he thought was Squall by the arms and dragging him backwards.

_Now I'm screwed…_Squall thought to himself. "Irvine, look, I don't want to pilot the Ragnarok…" he said without moving from his perfectly comfortable position. This stunned Irvine, and he dropped Selphie hard on the ground.

"Ouch!" she said getting up and rubbing her head, "That hurt Irvy!" she said slapping him across the face. Irvine stared, now speechless at the frowning Squall standing in front of him that had just SLAPPED him, and he was now giggling.

"Nothing makes sense anymore!" Irvine screamed running out of the room.

"You slapped him?" Squall asked standing away from the wall and walking to Selphie who was now rolling on the floor with laughter.

"Get up! You're making me look ridiculous!" Squall yelled and forced her off the ground. 

Selphie by this point was gasping for breath because she was laughing so hard, "That…was…the…funniest…thing…poor…Irvine…" she said now holding onto Squall's shoulder for support, problem was, it was hard for Squall to do that so he shoved her off. 

"Look Selphie," he said pointing at Selphie (he still was having a hard time getting used to seeing her in his body) "We have to keep this up until the old man fixes his machine, and quite frankly, this week or so will be hell, because YOUR BOYFRIEND KEEPS HITTING ON ME!" he yelled at her.

"What's up with Rinoa? She doesn't seem to be very worried about you…" she said poking her finger on his chest…"Oops, cant do that anymore." She smiled slyly as she watched Squall double over in pain.

"Ouch! God! Boobs!" he screamed at her.

"Get used to it…" she smiled slyly. Squall straightened up again and this time it was him who smiled slyly as he landed a swift kick in the nonads. 

"Ouchy!" she screamed and sat on the floor breathing out of her mouth slowly. But to both of their surprise when they turned to look, Irvine was standing on the elevator thingy with his mouth wide open, but before anyone could say anything, he fainted dead cold. 

"Good, I didn't have to kill him…" Squall said going back to the wall and leaning against it as Selphie sat down in the pilots seat. "Let's go back to the garden and wait," he said looking up slightly, "We still have 3 hours until we have to pick Rinoa up." Selphie nodded in agreement. 

They landed a few yards away from the Garden. As they were just about ready to enter it a T-Rexaur jumped out from the woods and roared really loud.

"Oh shit!" Squall screamed.

"Oh! Watch my mouth!" Selphie said scolding him. Irvine was still unconscious and Selphie had been dragging him, she dropped him and the battle music started. Squall reached down to grab his gunblade to realize once again, he had to use nunchakus. He was ready to attack, _ Let's see she swings them like this…_ he said doing the little turn, but when he let go of the other end it came back and hit him in the forehead. 

"Damn it!" he screamed holding the part of his head that was now throbbing and growing red. Selphie chuckled, seeing this Squall glared at her, "Give me the gunblade," he demanded. She just shrugged and handed it to him as he handed her the nunchakus. 

It was now Selphie's turn, but she decided to resurrect Irvine, she thought he had to see this too. Squall tried with all his might just to lift the gunblade, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get it off the ground. So instead he dragged it up to the towering beast, and lifted it just enough to graze it's big toe, as he dragged the weapon back he saw the number 3 float up out of the T-Rexaur. "Ha! Three hit points!" he said triumphantly, even though he knew that that was actually extremely sad.

Irvine stepped forward and casted cure on himself. It was now Selphie's turn to attack the T-Rexaur, she did the spin thing and let go of the other end, and with Squall's muscles she was able to knock the monster clear off it's feet, as a matter of fact it went flying back into the woods, there was an unmistakable thud as the dinosaur landed hard on the ground. The three then started back to Balamb Garden. 

Upon entering Squall turned to Irvine and stated clearly, "Leave me alone, when I want to talk to you, I WILL talk to you." then he turned on his heel and followed Selphie to the dormitories. 

"Selphie…" Irvine started, but then decided to himself, _she needs treatment, her and Squall both, I'll go get Dr. Kadowaki. _So he walked to the infirmary, as it figures she was busy with another student, so he sat down in a chair and listened into the conversation going on in one of the rooms.

"So what's your problem?" he heard her ask.

"Hotdogs, I have this horrible obsession with hotdogs." _Zell…_Irvine thought to himself as he held in a snicker.

"Well Mr. Dincht, I don't have anything to help you with except some advice," she started, it sounded to Irvine like she was holding in a laugh too, "Try some other foods, like hamburgers! Or my personal favorite, pickles!"

"Pickles…? I'll give it a try, gee thanks Dr. Kadowaki!" Zell then came walking around the corner, and saw Irvine holding his sides with laughter. "Shut up…" he mumbled as he walked past him. The doctor then came out from the room and sat at her desk. Irvine then stood up and wiped the tears from his eyes because he was laughing so hard. 

"What seems to be the problem Mr. Kinneas?" she asked looking up at him. 

"My…girlfriend…is….acting strange." He said between gasps for breath. 

"Ah, I see…explain the situation." She said leaning back in her chair so she could be more comfortable listening to him.

"Well you see, it all started when…."

*Back in Dollet*

Rinoa had just got done finding everything that was asked for, "Let's see…" she said to himself and counting off her fingers, "screwdriver, screws, hammer, sheet metal…I think that's all that he needed." She drove the cart to the cash register and waited in line.

Once she got out of the store she went back to where the drunkard was waiting next to his exploded machine. She sat them next to him, "Thanks lady!" he said looking at the tools with an approving look. 

Rinoa smiled at him and asked politely, "When do you think it will be done?" he stared at her blankly for about five minutes then he finally answered.

"It should be done in about a week…" Rinoa nodded and looked at her watch, it was now a quarter to five, so she walked to the town entrance and waited for awhile for Irvine to pick her up in the Ragnarok. Surely enough he did.

She got onboard and took the elevator to the cockpit and was surprised to see that Selphie wasn't driving, but Irvine was. "Where is Selphie and Squall?" she asked taking the passenger seat.

"Well I talked to Dr. Kadowaki, and she has them in the infirmary with her, she's running tests." He answered, "Put your seatbelt on, I'm still working on the controls." Rinoa did as she was told, she thought _don't worry, no one can be a worse driver then Selphie. _By the way, she was wrong.

*At the Infirmary* 

So far the two were waiting for the Doctor to get done with her patient at the moment. Selphie was bouncing up and down in her chair, once again making Squall look completely mindless. Dr. Kadowaki came out of the room, when she saw the two sitting in the chairs, she motioned them to the other room. They followed her in and sat on the bed, she took a seat on a chair and pulled out a notepad.

"So, Irvine tells me you two have been acting strangely…" she said looking up at them, "so I'm thinking it's just exhaustion, however he seems to disagree so I'll run a few tests." She said looking up again.

"Damn that Irvine…" Squall mumbled under his breath. 

"Excuse me miss?" the doctor asked looking him in the eye, "It isn't proper for ladies to swear, didn't your mother ever tell you that?" Squall rolled his eyes, and waited for her to continue. Selphie at this point was giggling like an idiot.

"The first test we will take is a urine test…I want you to fill these up," she said holding out a cup and pointing to the bathroom. Squall and Selphie looked at each other, there was no way they wanted to use the restroom in a body that they weren't used to. Squall walked in first, Selphie eagerly approached the door to hear what was going on. 

From within the depths of the bathroom she could hear him saying, "Now, how do they do this?!?" he started saying. Dr. Kadowaki either didn't hear or pretended not to as she was sitting at her desk filing her nails.

"Why don't you try sitting?" Selphie said just loud enough for Squall to hear. He came out seconds later with his cup filled.

"That was disgusting..." he whispered to her, but it wasn't as bad as Selphie had it. She walked in, this time it was Squall's turn to do the listening. 

From what he heard Selphie started shrieking, "Ew! I don't wanna touch this! Ahhhh! Help me! Must PEE!" Squall held in a small laugh, Selphie came out several minutes later, and from the looks of it she wasn't happy. She came out mumbling..."I saw Squall naked...involuntarily." They gave their cups to Dr. Kadowaki and sat back in their seats.

"Alright, I'll send these to the lab." she said going into a room behind her desk, she shortly returned. "You two are free to go for now…" she said sitting down at her desk. "I will call you when the results come from the urine tests." she said shooing them out of the door. 

"I'm gonna kill that dumb ass boyfriend of yours!" Squall yelled at Selphie and started sprinting down the hallway, Selphie looked around at all the faces that were turned looking at her. 

One tall kid with messy hair turned to look at a girl he was standing near and whispered, "Squall has a _boyfriend?_" The girl shrugged. Selphie realized what it looked like to everyone else and started squealing.

"Oh! You guys are being so mean! It isn't nice to talk about people behind their backs! I'm in charge here and I say that if you don't be nice to me I will sick my pet salamander on you! His name is Mr. Tinkerbell, and he will bite your sorry legs off!" she yelled and laughed madly. Surly enough the crowd around her cleared, but I don't think it was because of her Mr. Tinkerbell threat. After remembering that she hadn't fed her poor salamander in a day she decided to go back to the dorms. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * It's madness ne? I love it! Squall and Selphie switching places! What is this world coming to?!? R&R ideas and such! Muchos gracious! (I don't think I spelled that right, oh well!) Look for the next chapter!


	2. Mr Tinkerbell and Toodles

No Girls Allowed!

As Squall walked slowly to his dormitory many thoughts were going through his head, like…_how long do I have to be Selphie? Will Selphie be mad if I break up with Irvine? Does she expect me to bathe as long as I'm in her body? _As he racked his mind he walked toward his dorm but was yelled at by the disciplinary committee. 

"RESTRICTED." Fujin screamed pointing at him. Seifer was leaning against the wall; he just let Fujin and Rajin take care of it.

"Girls aren't allowed near the boys dorms, ya know?" Rajin started, "It just isn't right ya know?" Squall stared blankly at them for awhile until he realized, _I have to sleep in Selphie's room?!? _

"But Fujin is…" Squall started to argue. 

"NEGATIVE." she said loudly.

"She's just patrolling with us ya know." Rajin said punching her playfully in the shoulder.

"BASTARD." She yelled kicking him and sending him flying into the wall. Seifer laughed and straightened up.

"Our patrol of the boy's dorm is complete, move out!" he said leading them out. "Selphie, you need to go back to your dorm…Fujin, escort her." Seifer said waving Fujin off.

"AFFIRMATIVE." She replied. Fujin grabbed Squall firmly by the arm and lead him to Selphie's dorm. "STAY." She said as she shut the door behind her upon leaving. 

Squall sighed as he took a good look around the room. Pink, everywhere. Smiley faces, everywhere. Irvine? EVERYWHERE?!? Seeing Selphie's shrine to Irvine, Squall picked up one of her pink fluffy markers and made sure to draw mustaches on every single one of her pictures. 

After doing this he was somewhat satisfied. He then decided to rest, but after noticing her bed was pink with a giant Paul Frank monkey on it, he hesitated. He decided to do more examining of her room. He noticed a salamander in a cage, on the cage there was bubble lettering outlined in glitter that said Mr. Tinkerbell. _Sucky name perhaps, but that is a cool looking salamander, _he thought as he walked over for closer examination.

While looking at the lizard Squall heard something going on outside. He heard a boy's voice that sounded like his and it sounded as if something terrible had happened. "But you don't understand…if I don't feed Mr. Tinkerbell he's going to starve!" _Oh no! _He opened the door to see Selphie in his body freaking out. Seifer found 'Squall's' new behavior very amusing and was laughing his butt off.

"We just stopped that Tilmitt girl a second ago from going into your room…now we are having to stop you from going into hers? What's the deal? Don't like Rinoa anymore?" Seifer asked after he caught his breath. 

"Oh yeah, my room is this way!" she said turning around and heading to Squall's room. He slapped his hand to his forehead. "Don't forget to feed your salamander!" Selphie said turning around. Squall could swear that her eyes (or rather his) turned red with evilness. 

Selphie walked, or rather skipped down the hall to Squall's dorms. She didn't pay any heed to all those people staring and pointing at her. Or that one that was coming closer to her carrying a straight jacket. She just continued to skip to Squall's dormitory. As she walked in, she noticed that it was very boring. "Uh…" she started in disgust. "He has a bad judgment of interior decorating." She said looking around. His walls were blank. There was a Weapons Monthly October addition, the bed spread was very…boring. The floor had nothing special, not even a pizza stain. Why couldn't he be a 'normal' teenager? 

Her eyes wandered to his gunblade case that was sitting on the floor. She smiled evilly and picked it up.

*From the Bystander's POV*

"Ah ha ha ha ha!" Squall laughed madly as he jumped around the room. His gunblade was clutched tightly in his hand. "I'm going to KILL you!" he said as he did a little ninja/kung fu pose and raised his sword. He looked like such a total idiot that the five bystanders that had started watching him tripled in size. There were now almost fifteen people watching him. Rinoa and Irvine who had just gotten of the Ragnarok were among those people. 

"Off to Dr. Kadowaki…" Irvine stated turning on his heel and heading to the infirmary. Rinoa followed him. 

*Back to Selph*

Selphie was having fun, it wasn't nearly as fun playing hunter with nunchuckus as it was playing it with a gunblade. But her fun was cut short as the doctor came into the room, it seemed she was hiding something behind her back, but Selphie wasn't paying attention.

"Hey! What's up doc?" she asked while pretending to take a bite out of a carrot. "That's not nearly as good as my Groucho Marx impression…hold on." She said stepping off of Squall's bed. But before she could start the doctor pulled out a tranquilizer and injected her with it.

"Ouch…" she whined as she collapsed to the ground. 

Dr. Kadowaki sighed and turned to Irvine. "I'm telling you, the tests show that both are normal, my theory is that they are really stressed." She said looking down at 'Squall' he was sleeping so peacefully. With the help of Irvine she placed 'him' in 'his' bed.

"But it can't be exhaustion, not if he has the energy to jump around like a maniac…"

"I heard that!" Selphie said sitting up. The doctor stared at her in awe but she collapsed again after a few seconds. Kadowaki shook her head and looked at Rinoa who's mouth was wide open with horror.

"I'm really worried about him…" she started. "This is definitely not like him, at all." She said shaking her head.

"I know dear." She answered looking at the now motionless 'Squall'. 

"Can someone help me?" came Selphie's voice, only she didn't sound cheerful, she sounded more boring and tired. They turned to see her leaning against the doorway. _Oh shit, Irvine's here! _

"What's the prob Sefie?" he asked. 

"Uh, I can't remember where I put Sammy's food…" he answered.

"Who's Sammy?" Irvine and Rinoa asked in unison.

"My salamander…" he answered simply.

"But I thought his name was Mr. Tinkerbell." Irvine replied, he sounded more than slightly confused.

"It was…" he said shortly. They all stared at him as if saying 'why?' so he continued, "I realized how horrible of a name Mr. Tinkerbell is." He said crossing his arms over his chest, forgetting once again that his anatomy had changed. 

Rinoa didn't understand why there was a look of immense pain on 'Selphie's' face but decided not to worry about it too much, after all according to Selphie Mr. Tinkerbell…or Sammy…is more important then anyone…except maybe Irvine.

As soon as Squall recuperated, he stood straight up and started talking again as if nothing ever happened. "Okay then let's go." Irvine and Rinoa exchanged confused glances and followed.

As they approached the door Squall opened it somewhat reluctantly. "Irvine, stay out here." He said.

"Wh-what? Why? I thought you loved me!" he said in a hurt tone.

"Uhhhh…" he started, "no." and he shut Irivine out. As Irvine stared blankly at the door, analyzing what had just happened. He thought to himself, _maybe she's planning a surprise for me. Yeah, that must be it, _he thought calmly as he opened the door. And what he saw DID surprise him. 

"My beautiful face!" he shrieked when he saw all his pictures that had been vandalized. 

"I told you to stay out…" Squall said boringly. Rinoa was standing on her tiptoes in the closet, and she had in her hand a bag of salamander food. She gave it to Squall and led the stuttering Irvine out of the room, so that 'Selphie' could feed her salamander in peace.

*A Midnight Snack is Upon Us*

Selphie woke up in the middle of the night. She was really hungry. Really REALLY hungry, so she looked around her room. Typically Foozums the elephant escorted her to the cafeteria when she was hungry, but did Squall have any fluffy toys? No! But there in the corner of his room, yet again was his gunblade. 

"Since Foozums isn't here, I guess then this will have to protect me," she said picking it up. She looked at the lion hanging from it, "Let's see, Squall called you Griever, but that name is so…depressing! I'm going to call you Toodles!" she picked the gunblade up and walked stealthily out of his room.

"Goest thither into the wild unknown…the cafeteria!" she said. She just loved in old english and when she didn't know the word, she just added an 'ith' to the end of it! "Fearith not thy brave companion. For with thy might I shall cut thee down!" she laughed madly.

"Student Number 6923476, ((Not sure of his real ID number)) Squall Leonhart?" said one of the Garden Faculty members, "It's passed curfew, what are you doing out of bed?"

"Ridding the garden of evil sir!" she said saluting him. He raised his eyebrows but said nothing. She took this look as that he didn't care, and she continued down the hall. As she skipped still talking in old english she remembered a play she had once seen.

"Bereft of father! Bereft of mother! To what ends shalt thou live?" she giggled madly. "For the sake of our friend let us bury our steel in to the heart of the wretched king Leo!" she exclaimed driving the gunblade into a wall. "Oopsies. That isn't good huh?"

"What happened?" asked the Garden Staff person running over to her. 

"It's stuck!" she said shuffling her feet. He looked with his eyes wide open at their leader. This guy, one of the Garden's top SeeDs had just vandalized school property. He kept watching as 'Squall' struggled with the gunblade to get it out of the wall. Selphie had her foot against the wall for pressure and was pulling with all her might to dislodge the weapon. Finally it came out, and forced knocked her to the ground. 

She got up and dusted herself off, "Now if you excuse me I have a date with the left over hotdogs!" she said started down the hallway. The Garden Staff was petrified with astonishment. He decided that he would discuss it with Cid the following day, so he went back to his post. 

"Yes Toodles. They think they can take you from me do they? My preciousssss…" she snickered as she waddled while hugging the gunblade to her chest. As she did so she noticed that it was cracked. "Poopy!" she exclaimed seeing this, "Squall always takes good care of his gunblade…uh! He's gonna kill me!" She looked around desperately for a solution. "Maybe some super glue?" 

"I know! Duct tape can fix anything! I can just use that!" she said snapping her fingers. "But before I roam the janitors closet, I shall see to the hotdogs!" she said skipping to the cafeteria. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Well! That's the end of chapter two! Tune in next time to find out what happens once Selphie reaches the cafeteria! Oooohhhh…dramatic music. What will Squall do when he finds out that Griever has been renamed to Toodles? Or Selphie when she finds out about Mr. Tinkerbell! Review us ideas and such! Remember flames and feedback are greatly appreciated!


	3. Zell, Selphie and Hotdogs, Oh my

Disclaimer: We do not own Final Fantasy 8 or any of the characters; they all belong to Squaresoft! 

Zell, Selphie and Hotdogs, Oh my!

Selphie walked stealthily into the cafeteria clutching Squall's gunblade tightly.  "Yes Toodles, the area is surrounded, we have to sneak past the evil Huffelumps and Woozles!" she said as she walked against the walls.  The lights were turned off in the hallways so she couldn't see where she was going, but the cafeteria lights were on, so she knew that someone had to be in there. 

She decided, just to be safe, she should army crawl the rest of the way.  So she laid down on the floor on her stomach and started to crawl the rest of the way into the cafeteria, she was dragging the gunblade behind her.  "What are you doin?" she heard a voice say.  "Squall?  What the hell are you crawling around on the floor for?" she turned to see Zell standing there.

Instead of answering him she put her finger to her lips and continued to crawl.  Zell raised his eyebrows in astonishment.  Him and Selphie always would sneak out of the dorms to finish up the left over hotdogs, but Squall was the last person he expected to see going to the cafeteria at midnight.  

"The Woozles are amongst us!" she whispered, "For your own safety my dear friend, you must crawl too!" she said still slowly making her progress towards the cafeteria.  Zell shrugged and plopped down on the floor and started to crawl beside 'Squall'.  He had heard the rumors from Irvine and Rinoa about his and Selphie's behavior and he decided to just play along.  

"Toodles tells me that they are ganging up on us!" she exclaimed jumping to her feet.

"Okay, okay…" Zell started, "First of all, who is Toodles?  And what are the Huffelumps and Woozles?"

Selphie stared in astonishment at Zell's ignorance, she couldn't blame him for not knowing who Toodles was, as she had just renamed Griever an hour ago, but why didn't he know who the Huffelumps and Woozles were?  

"Don't you ever watch Winnie the Pooh?" she asked. He shook his head 'no'.  She just sighed and said quickly, "I shall explain it all, once we are out of danger." She said grabbing him by the hand and leading him in a sprint to the doors of the cafeteria.  

Once they were safely within the walls of the cafeteria they snuck to where the lunch ladies leave the leftover hotdogs.  Selphie energetically discussed how the Huffelumps and Woozels are Winnie the Pooh's worst enemies.  And Zell just stared in amazement as 'Squall' discussed such a childish cartoon.  

Once they finished their hotdogs, Zell and Selphie went their separate ways.  Zell explained that he promised to meet his girlfriend at the 'secret spot' ((oooohhhh)) and Selphie decided to skip on back to Squall's room.  She set Toodles down inside his case (or as she liked to call it, his bed) and she crawled into bed and went to sleep.

*The Next Morning*

Squall woke up.  That night had been by far the worst experience that he had ever known.  Not only did he have to sleep in a pink bed, surrounded by pink walls.  But he had to stare into a giant Irvine picture that was hanging over Selphie's bed.  He hadn't been able to reach it the day before with the marker.  So it was the only one that didn't have a mustache, and all night.  That picture stared back at him.  

He got out of bed and walked to where there was a full body mirror hanging on her door.  He examined his reflection and shook his head in shame.  [Why can't girls wear 'normal' pajamas?  Why not boxers and a tee-shirt?  No she has to have these pajamas that say 'princess' all over them.]  He then walked over to where Sammy was still sleeping.  He went ahead and fed him and got dressed into Selphie's yellow dress.

After he finished putting the boots on, he walked into the bathroom.  She had all sorts of makeup on the counter, along with a pink toothbrush and a purple 'Hurt-Free' hairbrush.  [Why do girls have to use all this special stuff?]  Squall picked up the hairbrush and brushed his bed head tangled hair.  Then he brushed his teeth, but after he finished that he stared blankly at all the cosmetics that were sitting there.  "Psh…forget it." He said to himself as he walked out the door.  

He walked at a reasonable pace to the cafeteria for breakfast.  He was still tired, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.  As he was just ready to enter he was stopped by Quistis.  "Hey Sefie!" she said smiling.  

"Hey…" he answered dully.

"What's wrong?  Do you not feel well?  You don't look too good today…" she asked worriedly.  Squall just continued to walk into the cafeteria.  Quistis followed.  "Well anyway…" she continued, "Today some of the junior classmen are preparing to take the SeeD field exam today, they were wanting you to come in a give them a little pep talk before it all happens!  You are always so sweet to them, they really love you." She said smiling.

Squall stared blankly at her for a long time.  "Fine." He answered quietly and continued on his way to the cafeteria. 

"Thanks Selph!" Quistis called after him, "You will need to be in my classroom after breakfast!"  Squall continued to make his progress to the cafeteria.  When he finally made it, he noticed Selphie was already in there, but of course, she couldn't be doing something normal.  She had **his **gunblade laying on her table and she was eating her favorite cereal, Lucky Charms!   

"Hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons!  Pots of gold, rainbows and me red balloons!" she started singing as she shoveled another spoonful of the marshmallow clad cereal in her mouth.  To her, the cereal part was the grossest stuff, so she just singled out all the marshmallows instead.  

Rinoa was sitting beside her, holding her head in her hands.  She stared at her 'boyfriend' in utter disbelief.  Squall stood in line to get some Special K cereal (he always liked eating healthy).  He decided, once he got his tray that he would sit by Selphie and Rinoa.  Once he sat down, across from Selphie, Rinoa noticed that 'Selphie' was eating healthy.  

"It's all too confusing…" she stated getting up.  "I'm going to see if Dr. Kadowaki offers therapy sessions." She said leaving.  Squall stared at her back as she left, shook his head and continued to eat his Special K cereal.

"Catch me Lucky Charms!  They're magically delicious!" she said smiling and picking a balloon out of the mass of cereal.  Squall decided on ignoring her for the time being, but then he remembered something.

"Selphie." He whispered so that no one else could hear him.  "Earlier this year Cid banned you from eating Lucky Charms didn't he?" he asked.  She looked up and an evil smile crept across her face.  

"No…" she answered innocently.  Squall eyed her suspiciously and she finally admitted, "I have a hyper problem." [no kidding…] "…and when Cid found this all he took my one love from me…besides Irvine…Lucky Charms!  But when we switched bodies, I realized something awesome!  I could eat Lucky Charms because they wouldn't expect to see a hyper Squall." She smiled evilly again, and continued to dig through her cereal for any marshmallows she could have possibly missed.  [Great…] he thought as he shoveled the last of his Special K into his mouth.  Then he noticed something about his gunblade.  It had a band-aid on it?

"Selphie what did you do my gunblade?" he asked, trying his hardest to stay calm.

"Oh this?" she asked pointing out the band-aid.  Squall nodded his head, "Toodles got a boo boo!" she said picking it up and kissing it.  

"WHO THE HELL IS TOODLES?!?" he screamed.  At this everyone in the cafeteria turned to see what was going on.  

"Oh yeah, I renamed Griever.  His name is Toodles now, he didn't like the name Griever because it was too depressing…" she explained.

"How do you know what Griever thinks?  He's an inanimate object!" she just shook her head smiling.

"If he's just an inanimate object why are you making such a big deal about it?" 

This was pushing Squall over the edge.  He gritted his teeth, "Well, that's alright, because I renamed Mr. Tinkerbell to Sammy."  

Selphie gasped and put her hands to her mouth, "You DIDN'T!" she exclaimed.

"I did…and I think he likes Sammy better." Squall said standing up to dump his tray.

"How do YOU know what Mr. Tinkerbell prefers?  I've known him longer!" she screamed at him. 

He shrugged, "The same as how you know Griever prefers Toodles…" he said walked out of the cafeteria.  Selphie stood in her seat boiling with silent anger but decided that another bowl of Lucky Charms would fix it.  So she stood up and got in line again.  People all over were staring at them.  When she saw this she looked around again.

"Stop it or Toodles will bite you!" she said holding up the gunblade.  Everyone went back to (or pretended to) eat again.

Squall walked in his slow boring pace as he walked to the second floor classroom.  Upon entering Quistis greeted him, "Selphie!  Good timing!  I was expecting you would give us one of your 'Famous Selphie Entrances' though." She sounded kind of disappointed.  

"Yeah!" one of the kids yelled from the back of the room, "Give us a dramatic entrance!" he exclaimed.  Quistis giggled.

"Go ahead, humor them Selphie, you always do!" she said pushing him out the door.  [What?!?  This is NOT cool!"] he thought as she shut the door behind him.  [How would Selphie do this?  She always seems to make a fool out of herself.  And I am not like that.] he decided to improvise.  

Squall pushed the door open and bounded in slowly.  "Everyone.  Love and Peace." He said dully and stood in the middle of the room.  Quistis stared at him in awe.

"Well, I'm getting a feeling Selphie must be tired this morning." She said eyeing him suspiciously.  "She's in here to give you some advice on your Field Exam today, and to help relieve your stress, because she went through the same thing about a year or so ago." She walked passed Squall and whispered, "It's all you."  Then she sat down at her desk to grade the written exams to see who would be going and who wouldn't.

Squall looked around at all the nervous faces, these kids weren't more then two years younger then him, so he decided to tell it like it is.  "Don't screw up.  Out there it's life or death, and when you screw up it pretty much means death."  He thought he was doing really well.  But he didn't notice that in reality he was scaring the crap out of the junior classmen.  But he just continued in his pessimistic tone, "Always listen to your leader, especially if he's Seifer…" he said looking back at Seifer who was sitting in the back of the classroom (sleeping).  [I can't believe he hasn't passed it yet!].  "If you screw up, then the real SeeDs will be forced to take action and that wont be good on your score…"…

*Back with Selphie*

"Squall…we need you on the deck!  Squall…" the intercom spoke.  

"That's me!" she exclaimed happily as she skipped out of the cafeteria.  The Lucky Charms had already kicked in, and now Selphie was ten times as hyper as normal (thought it was impossible, ne?)  She took the elevator up to the top floor and bounded into the room dramatically.  

*Cid's POV*

"Yes sir!" Squall exclaimed saluting Cid, but when he brought his hand up he smacked his hand against his forehead.  "Ouch…" he said rubbing it.  Cid wasn't paying any heed.  So he just turned to face him.

"Tom here tells me that you have made a hole in one of our walls," he said pointing to one of the Garden Staff people.  He looked at Squall again to see him jumping up in down in place.  Cid cocked his eyebrow in amusement.

"Oh!  Oh!  Oh!  I remember you!  You must be!  Wait, wait!  Don't tell me!"  Cid stared at Squall.  "You are…no that's not it." He thought a little bit longer then he snapped his fingers, "That's it!  You are my long lost Aunt!  Hilda!" he said shaking the man's hand.

"Uh…" the man looked uneasily at Cid.  Cid pulled Squall off of the man and continued.

"Squall!" he said hitting him in the back of the head.  Squall turned from the man to look at Cid again.  "Since you are the leader, we can't have you setting bad examples!  We want you to fill in that hole."

"Can Toodles come with me?" Squall asked, and giving Cid the puppy dog eyes.  

"Who is Toodles?  Is that Rinoa's new nickname or something?" he asked, slightly confused.  Squall shook his head 'no' and held up his gunblade.  Cid cocked his eyebrows again and just sent him out the door.

*Narrators POV!*

 Selphie skipped happily to Squall's dormitory.  She thought that if she was going to do some handy-man work, then she should at least change her clothes.  As she entered and looked through Squall's stuff, she finally found some old overalls and an old tee-shirt.  She put them on and skipped out to where, surely enough there was that hole in the wall.  

The Garden Staff had conveniently placed some putty there, with a putty knife (scraper…whatever…we're girls, we're not supposed to know these terms!)  She picked it up and started to fill in the crack.

As Selphie worked really hard on the wall, Rinoa came walking out of the infirmary.  Her first therapy session went great.  Dr. Kadowaki told her that she needed to talk to Squall and try to see if he would tell her anything.  So she confidently started down the hall.  She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw 'him' wearing overalls.  Rinoa turned on her heel and started back to the infirmary for some more therapy, but Selphie noticed her first.

"Rinny!" she exclaimed.  Rinoa stopped and turned slowly.  "Looky, looky!" Selphie exclaimed pointing to the wall.  It was clear she was trying her best to fix the hole but now the wall looked uneven and had small air bubbles forming in the putty.  "Isn't it beautimus?" she smiled big eyeing her 'masterpiece'.    Rinoa started to slowly edge away.  When she finally got away, she ran back to the infirmary for more therapy.  But she had to wait.  It was Irvine's session at the time.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

heheheh!  I'm starting to feel sorry for Squall!  How can I do this to MY baby?  Even I do not know! (-Anna) However!  We are going to post the next chapter hopefully very soon and you can expect to see Laguna as a guest star!  Lol!  ^__^ 


	4. Like Father Like Son

Disclaimer: We don't own Final Fantasy VIII, don't sue…

Like Father, Like Son

Cid looked with a grim face at the phone.  Dr. Kadowaki had given him a sheet of paper, and scribbled on it was a phone number.  "If you are that concerned, your best bet is to call his father…" she had told him.  Cid reluctantly picked up the phone and dialed the number.  He waited for awhile then finally a man answered the phone.

"Uh, hi, hold on….Ellone!  The cookies are burning!" he screamed.  Cid waited patiently for him to return.  "Uh yeah?" came the man's voice.

"Is there a Mr. Laguna Loire there?" Cid asked reading off the paper.

"That's me!" he answered cheerfully.  "Ellone!  The cookies Ellone!" 

"Well, I'm calling about your son." Cid started but Laguna interrupted.

"What's wrong?  Is he playing nice with the other boys?" 

Well actually he's been acting strange lately, we've been thinking that perhaps he would open up to you." Cid started.  The man on the other end was silent.  

"…Okay." He finally replied.

"Thank you so much Mr. Loire.  We won't be sending him on any missions while he is in this state, so you are welcome to our Garden anytime you are able." Cid hung up the phone and sighed.  He always hated calling his students' parents, but it really was for his own good.

*Over at Laguna's House*

"Can you save Mr. Gingerbread Man?" Laguna asked pointing to a black heap of deformed cookies.

"Uncle Laguna…" Ellone said slowly, trying to comfort him.

"NNOOOOOOO!!!" he screamed holding the ruined pastry in his hands.  "Lord have mercy upon him!" he straightened up, "Well then, you are going to make a new batch." He said.  "And if you don't you will be grounded from watching wrestling!"

"No!  Please have mercy!" she begged him.

"I know the reason you didn't get up to rescue him was because you were watching the championships.  And because of you Mr. Gingerbread Man died!" he said shaking his finger at her.

"But it was Kane vs. The Rock!" she complained.  Laguna just shook his head and pointed her into the kitchen.  As she got the ingredients ready a second time, he got his jacket and started heading for the door.

"Oh, by the way, who was on the phone?" Ellone asked when she saw that he was leaving.

"I have to go see Squall." She nodded.

"Do you want any cookies before you go?" she asked as she emptied the burnt cookies into a cookie jar shaped like a pig.  He shook his head no and walked out the door.

*Back at the Garden…Selphie's POV*

She was very excited!  She just received a notice from the office that Sir Laguna was coming to the Garden!  And he wanted to see HER!  Well, of course, he wanted to see Squall…but for the time being, she was Squall.  So needless to say she was happy.  She had her autograph pen and notepad all ready when he walked through the front gate. 

Laguna was thinking solemnly to himself, [But Squall hates me.  I'm the last person he would open up to…but I really do hope he's okay…] When he walked into Balamb Garden he was surprised to see Squall already waiting for him.  

Selphie was bouncing up and down.  [Yay!  He's finally here!]  She ran up to him and shook his hand.  Laguna looked confused.  "Sir Laguna, I'm so happy to finally meet you!" she said smiling.  He gave her and awkward glance, then felt her head.

"Squall, do you feel okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine Sir Laguna." She said bouncing.  [Oh!  He really does care!]

"Why are you calling me 'Sir' Laguna?" he asked, "You can just call me Laguna, or," he looked at his feet, "perhaps even dad."  Laguna was amazed to see Squall's jaw drop.

"Can I really?!?" Laguna shook his head yes.  "Can I call you father?  Or daddy?  Pops?  How about Popperoo?  Oh!  Oh!  How about this, Old Man?"

Laguna looked confused, "I'm not that old…but yeah, whatever floats your boat."  Selphie laughed madly, she then jumped forward and embraced him.

[What is that Cid talking about?] Laguna thought to himself [Squall's perfectly fine!  This is how he SHOULD be!] Laguna hugged her back, much to Selphie's liking.  "I'm happy to see that you are getting better social skills.

[Smile and nod] Selphie thought, and she did just that.  "Can you give me a tour around your garden?" Laguna asked, "I've never been here before and it looks pretty cool!"

"Of course Sir…uh, I mean popperoo." She grabbed his hand and started leading him in the direction of the infirmary.  She led him in.  

"This is Dr. Kadowaki, she's really nice, she's been doing lots of tests on me lately!" Laguna once again looked confused and he turned to the doctor.  

"Uh, Squall, can you leave us for a minute?" she asked.  "I need to talk to your father." 

"Okie dokie!" Selphie replied. She saw that Irvine was in one of the rooms and decided to pay him a visit while they talked.

"Mr. Loire, I'm so happy that you came!  We have no idea what's wrong with him, but he's been vandalizing school property, sneaking out of the dorms at night, and just been acting strange in gereral."  She opened her mouth as if to say more but was interrupted by a scream that came from one of the rooms.

"AHHHHHHHHH!  Get away from me!" Irvine screamed as he ran away.  

"But Irvy!  I just wanna talk to you!" she said in a whiny voice.  Irvine continued to run around the room screaming.  "Why don't you love me anymore?" she asked curling her lip to form a perfect puppy dog face.  

"Oh God!  Help me!  Help me!" Irvine continued to scream.

"See what I mean?" Dr. Kadowaki yelled over Irvine's screaming.  "I'm sorry but you are going to have to take him out of here, I'm supposed to be giving this young man therapy." Laguna nodded and grabbed Selphie by the arm and dragged her out of the infirmary.  

Selphie, being Selphie, couldn't stay mad too long.  So she started skipping while they were on their way to the Quad.  Laguna joined in, so they skipped linking their arms together singing "Here we go looby loo.."

They finally made it into the Quad.  "This!" Selphie started, "Is where the Garden Festival is being planned."  She then smiled really big, "I'm on the committee!"

"That's awesome Squall!" Laguna exclaimed looking around the stage.  "Oh, and Squall, I need to talk to you…" he started but Selphie held up a hand.

"Wait a minute!  We aren't done with the tour!" she grabbed him by the arm and directed him out of the room.  "Next is the cafeteria!" she said as he followed her down the hallway.  Upon entering the cafeteria she noticed that there wasn't a line for the hotdogs.  She immediately jumped in front of the lunch lady.

"Two hotdogs please!" she said smiling.  

"Alright…" she said turning around, when she turned back around she gave them their hotdogs.  After they sat down at the table and started talking over the hotdogs Zell came running in.  

"Are, :::huff::: there :::heave:::: hotdogs left?" it was noticeable that he had obviously ran to the cafeteria.  

"I'm sorry, those two were our last ones…" she said pointing to where Laguna and 'Squall' were sitting.  

"SQUALL I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!" he screamed running at him.  Selphie laughed like an idiot and Laguna just stared, utterly confused at the whole predicament.  Zell then sighed and straightened up, "Oh well…" said going back to the lunch lady, "Do you have any pickles?" she shook her head solemnly.

"I'm sorry, we're out of those too." 

"NNNOOOOOOOOOO!" Zell screamed as he ran out of the cafeteria.  

"Oh well…" Selphie said stuffing the last of her hotdog in her mouth.  "Now we shalt venture into the dorms!" she laughed madly and started skipping out of the cafeteria.

"Darn it, I didn't get to finish my hotdog!" Laguna said picking it up, it didn't matter, he didn't really like hotdogs anyway.  

As he walked out of the cafeteria after 'Squall' he noticed Zell sitting on a bench.  He felt pity for him and gave him his hotdog.  "Here ya go, I hate hotdogs anyway…" Zell looked up with watering eyes.  It was like a kid at Christmas.

"Oh!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!" he hugged Laguna (and took a bite out of the hotdog at the same time).  "I will never be able to…" he stopped in mid sentence and a look of pure disgust swept across his face.

Laguna raised an eyebrow and watched as Zell fell to the ground coughing.  When Laguna realized that he was choking he immediately jumped into action.  The Heimlich Maneuver, he grabbed Zell and started lifting him by the stomach as he was once taught so many years ago.  Finally the hotdog dislodged from his throat it flew across the hall, hitting Quistis in the forehead.

"Gee, thanks again…" Zell started saying, but Laguna wasn't listening, we was doing the innocence whistle and started walking fast, Instructor Trepe started storming over to where Zell was sitting.  Laguna while walking away noticed that 'Squall' was jumping up and down outside of the dormitories calling him.

"Pops!  Over here!" Selphie exclaimed jumping up and down.  He ran to catch up with his son.  Laguna thought that this was by far one of the best days of his life.  He and Squall never got to talk and now he was treating him like family.  It made him feel warm and fuzzy inside.

"This is my dorm!" she said leading him into Squall's room, the only thing was that she did quite a bit of redecorating.  If Squall had seen it he would have strangled her, wrapped her in a tarp, and thrown her into a bottomless pit.  There was a giant shag rug carpet on the floor, a cow print bean bag in the corner with a pink and purple lava lamp going next to it.  The bed it seemed was the only thing that she didn't touch.

"Well Squall, I really like your new fuzzy toys collection!" Laguna exclaimed.  He immediately ran to the beanbag near a pile of Dr. Seuss books and picked up Snoogans the penguin and started reading out of 'The Lorax'.  "I am the Lorax!  I speak for the trees!  I speak for the trees for the trees have no tongues, and I'm asking you sir, at the top of my lungs."

When he finished reading that he wiped a tear from his eye and started on 'Horton Hears a Who'.  Selphie was cuddled up on the bed (she had looked through Squall's book collection, and found an old volume of 'War and Peace' and was trying to understand the first few paragraphs.  

"Well…" she said throwing the book across the room.  "I'm done.  Time for you to see, the parking lot!"

"Oh what fun!" Laguna exclaimed clapping his hands together and jumping up and down.  They ran down the hall and for the parking lot.  

"And here we are!" she exclaimed.

"Woooowwww." He oogled at the nothing all around him.  "Awesome!" he said with his mouth wide open.

"Tag!  You're it!" Selphie said tagging him and running away.  

"Hey!  That wasn't fair!  I wasn't ready yet!" he complained.  But nonetheless, he chased her.  After Selphie was driven into the wall numerous times, and Laguna collapsed of exhaustion, they decided that it was time to visit the training center.

As soon as they entered they heard a battle cry.  Selphie was amazed to see Squall fighting a T-Rexaur, and his forehead was bright red, obviously from his nunchukus.  

"What do you think you're doing you idiot!?!  You're gonna kill me!" she screamed at him.   

While dodging the monsters tail he replied, "You are so freaking weak!  You need to be leveled up!" he then noticed Laguna.  While staring in awe and wondering 'why possibly would HE be here' the monster swung his tail and knocked him clear out.  

Seeing this Selphie grabbed Toodles out of his sheath and charged the monster and killed it.  She then ran up to Squall and casted life on him.  He woke back up and stared at Laguna.  "What are YOU doing here?" he spat.  Selphie slapped Squall and had a disapproving look on her face.

"Be nice, he's MY daddy!" Squall looked confused and she hugged Laguna.  

"Uh…Okay…" Squall said.  "Whatever."  He walked off.  His goal was to find a Grat, just because they were easy to kill and it would be better on his self- esteem.  Selphie shrugged and lead Laguna out and into the Library.

"Yay!  They have my favorite book!" he exclaimed holding up 'Pat the Bunny'.  Selphie jumped up and down laughing.

"That's MY favorite book too!" 

"Are you serious?!?" Laguna asked happily.  She nodded and gave him a high five. 

They had finally finished the whole bottom floor, which left the second floor classroom and all that other good stuff.  But unfortunately, Laguna had to go home.  He had been at the Garden all day and Ellone would be getting worried thinking 'Oh my God, Squall killed him' because as far as she knew Squall still hated Laguna's guts.  He couldn't wait to give her the good news!

Selphie was really sad, she had a lot of fun with him.  She was so totally definitely in hog heaven.  She got to spend the whole day with Sir Laguna!  She decided to go to the cafeteria and eat dinner.  Squall wasn't there.  She figured he was still training [how boring!]  

She went to bed and slept peacefully.

However Squall wasn't so lucky.  He was jumping on her bed (the most Selphie-like thing he's done) trying to get the Irvine poster down.  When he realized that it wasn't going to happen he realized who must have put it up there.  

"Damn you Irvine!" he muttered under his breath.  He jumped a little more, a final desperate attempt to get it down.  He eventually gave up, but before he changed into his bright pink 'princess' pajamas that he oh so loved (sarcasm people) and he decided to feed Sammy.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * By the way in the strategy guide it gives heights and Irvine is about 4 inches taller then Squall…just some food for thought.  So yeah!  R&R!  We needs new ideas!  We are running out!  WRITERS BLOCK!  We need brain food so pleez R&R, flames and feedback are appreciated!


	5. Slumber Party! Yay!

Disclaimer: We don't own Final Fantasy 8 or the characters or places, we are just borrowing them for awhile. ^_^

Okay! This chapter we promise will be totally insane! BreeAnne came up with the scenario and I'm typing it (and I have the remnants of our Halloween candy in my lap) so it will be total and complete hysteria! By the way, Meelu the Bold: We totally agree with your idea! So this chapter is for you! Yay!

Slumber Party! Yay!

Squall sat on Selphie's floor defeated. No matter how much he tried, he just couldn't get that damn poster off! Selphie's pink 'princess' pajamas were lying on the floor in front of him, he stared blankly at them, _I do not want to put those on! _

As he continued to stare, there was a knock at the door. "What do you want?!" he moaned. The doorknob turned and the door swung up. Rinoa stood there in the doorway wearing pajamas with hippopotamuses all over them, a purple spaghetti strap and pink slippers that looked like pigs, her hair was done all crazy in pig tails. Behind her stood a very excited looking Quistis, she was dressed in pajamas too, only hers consisted of a tee-shirt and boxers. Both were carrying bags stuffed full of who knew what, and also had sleeping bags, pillows and fluffy toys. As soon as they entered they dropped them onto the floor.

"We're ready!" Rinoa exclaimed, "Why aren't you all decked out for the occasion?" Squall's mouth hung wide open, _what the hell?! _

"Get your pajama's on!" Quistis said picking them up off the floor and shoving him into the bathroom.

*Back in Squall's Dormitory*

__

Ah shoot! I planned a slumber party tonight! They are going to be showing up, but Squall's gonna be there instead of me! Hmmm, I bet he'll enjoy it. AH! That pervert! He must be stopped! She thought importantly as the got up. Making sure not to leave without Toodles, she left her room. To rid the Garden, once again, of evil.

*Back in Selphie's Dormitory*

"What's taking so long?" Quistis asked through the bathroom door.

"I'm not coming out…" Squall said in his monotone. 

"Oh? And why not!?" Rinoa's voice came.

"I look ridiculous!" 

"No you don't! If you don't come out, then we'll have to come in and get you out!" she waited for a response, but none came. "Alright then fine. On the count of three Quisty, one, two…" they backed up in unison, "THREE!" they started charging for the door right when Squall opened it. He was tackled by the two women, both of which were giggling like lunatics.

"Get off!" he yelled, still laughing they did as they were told. 

"Sorry, couldn't help myself." Said Rinoa between giggles. Standing up, she led the rest of them back into Selphie's room. "I brought a really good movie, but before we watch it, MAKEOVERS!" she yelled to where everyone in the whole Garden could hear, (or so it seemed). 

Squall winced, "Uh…" Desperately he tried to think of an excuse to get out of it, but before he could, the girls had already pulled out oodles of cosmetics and were neatly setting them out.   


"Selphie, you should get your make-up too," Quistis suggested, "You have all the real neat stuff."

"Yeah, and your 'Passionate Purple Eyeshadow' looks really good on me!" Rinoa said as the started opening up her concealer. Squall looked between the two girls and was saved when there was another knock at the door.

"Who could that be? Who else did you invite Selph?" Quistis asked putting down the bright pink lipstick she had just applied. Squall shrugged and stood up to answer the door. It was Selphie.

"AH! PERVERT!!" Quistis screamed throwing makeup, fuzzy toys and other random objects at the intruder. Rinoa giggled in spite of herself and joined in the madness.

"What's that noise?" Squall heard Seifer's voice.

"INVESTIGATE?" came Fujin's loud monotone.

"It's our duty as the Disciplinary Committee ya know?" Rajin added. Before long the posse of three was standing in Selphie's doorway.

"What are you doing here Leonhart?" Seifer spat. "Do we need to escort you back to your bedroom?"

"Uh…" Selphie desperately tried to look for an excuse. "I thought I should check up on them…" she said slowly.

"It's a slumber party for God's sake!"

"There something wrong, ya know." Rajin said turning to face Seifer, "I think we do need to escort him, ya know?" Seifer nodded and grabbed Selphie firmly by the ear and dragged her down the hall as she begged for mercy.

"Stop it! You're hurting me you big ol' meanie!" she stomped hard on his boot, as he jumped around holding his injured foot she broke loose and sprinted back to Squall's room.

"This got me absolutely nowhere…" she said as she sat down in her beanbag. "Well then, we will have our own slumber party," she said to Toodles. "You will be the guest of honor, and Snoogans can come along too…" she said picking up her penguin. She pulled the sheets off of Squall's bed and formed a makeshift tent and camped out under there.

"We can have our own fun. And I know someone else who would have fun. Maybe I should call Laguna?" she looked around Squall's room. He had a phone somewhere or at least she thought he did, she distinctively remembered decorating it with pink fuzzy stuff.

After finding it under a heaping pile of dirty clothes, she dialed Laguna's phone number, she already had it memorized.

*Meanwhile*

"Get away from me!!!!" Squall screamed as he ran around Selphie's room. Rinoa and Quistis were following him, Rinoa was equipped with a curling iron and several pony tail holders, whereas Quistis wielded the makeup.

"D-Don't come any closer!" he said climbing on to her bed. "Please! Stop!"

"Selphie, you are always so dramatic, just come down, it's your turn!" Rinoa said stepping up on the bed after him. She tackled him and dragged him to the floor.

*5 minutes later*

Squall sat defeated on the floor. It got so entirely violent, that Quistis at one point had sat on him so that Rinoa could do the mascara. THE MASCARA! That evil black stuff on a brush that came so close to his eye he was afraid he wouldn't have one by the time it was over. 

"Done!" Quistis said happily handing him a mirror. He looked in horror at the reflection, even though it wasn't his face, he had still gone through the whole ordeal. _The foundation, the powder, the mascara! _ He shuddered. _And worst of all, the plucking! Why would a girl want to pluck her eyebrows! It hurts! _

"I don't know what got into you, but we're done with that." Rinoa said looking at the digital clock, it was now nearing midnight. "Since it's against the rules to sleep…" she smiled, "It's time to watch your favorite movie!"

"The Gladiator?!?" he asked excitedly. Rinoa sighed in disgust.

"Gah! No! Who would watch a movie as nasty as that? We rented Steel Magnolias!" Squall's jaw dropped.

"NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!" he yelled. 

"Shhhh!" Quistis cupped her hand over his mouth. "Can't be too loud!!"

"I'll just put this in the VCR." Rinoa said popping the tape in. "Quistis you get the popcorn while the commercials are going." Quistis did as she was told. She put the bag in a conveniently placed microwave by the once Mr. Tinkerbell but recently renamed Sammy cage.

"I don't want to watch this!" Squall complained.

"But it your favorite movie!" Rinoa said. "Besides, I like it." This time it was him that looked at her in disgust. Squall made several attempts to fall asleep during the movie, but every time he succeeded Rinoa always threw popcorn at him. So not only was he forced to stay awake through the movie, but he actually had to watch it as well.

__

How long has this stupid thing been on? He asked himself after it seemed like an eternity, _this is so stupid. So what if the girl dies? It doesn't concern us. So why are they crying? _He looked over at Rinoa and Quistis, their faces that was so neatly done with makeup a few hours ago, had long lines of mascara running down their cheeks, and were fighting for the Kleenex box.

"Here! Hit Wheezer!" one of the old women on the TV said. The two girls, who were still bawling started to try and laugh.

"God! This is the stupidest movie!" he groaned as he leaned against the bed.

"How can you be so emotionless?!" Rinoa screamed and threw the remainder of the Kleenexes at him (there weren't many left). 

"Can we go to bed now?" he asked.

"It's only 2:30," Quistis read off the clock. _Great, what do we get to do now?_ He asked himself sarcastically. 

"Girl talk!" Rinoa exclaimed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Squall's cries rang out through the halls of the Garden.

"Well, personally I think Seifer is pretty hot." Quistis blushed.

"Make the voices stop!" Squall jumped up and ran around the room. Rinoa grabbed him by the back of his pajama pant legs and shoved him on the ground.

"Seifer? Yeah, I went out with him for awhile. He can be really sweet…" Rinoa winked.

Squall looked evilly at her, the started again in his frantic attempt to flee the conversation. But his diabolical plan to flee was demolished when Quistis asked, "So how's it goin' with you and Irvine?"

"Yeah, you two are still going out right?"

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

*'Squall's Slumber Pah-tay!*

__

So what if Laguna couldn't come, I mean after all I did call him at midnight. He sounded like he really wanted to come. It was just too late of notice. That's right. I can entertain myself! Eagerly, she stood up and raided Squall's bathroom.

"One thing that is tradition when throwing a slumber party…" she explained to both Toodles and Snoogans, "Is makeovers, but does Squall own any makeup? No!" She continued to desperately search his bathroom.

"Ah ha!" she yelled in triumph. An evil smile fell across her face. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Oh oh, what's Selphie up to now? Poor Squall, (wipes tear) we have feminized him! Oh well! We are women hear us roar! GGGRRRRRRR!!! Thanks everyone who reviews us tips! We are going to use them all (and I mean every single one of them) in the next chappy! So we'll see where this one leads! ::::laughs evilly:::::: Keep the reviews coming everyone! Flames and Feedback are appreciated! And so are ideas! Keep the ideas coming as well!


	6. The Garden Festival Committee

Disclaimer: We don't own Final Fantasy VIII…

A/N: Okay!  We tried squeezing everyone's ideas in this chapter!  And I think we got them all!  Special thanks to Virginia! (Our Beta Reader) she helped us SO much with this chapter!  ::::Big Hug!!::::

The Garden Festival Committee!

"Squall!  I repeat!  Come to the third floor deck." Cid waited, he had been waiting for thirty minutes, he kept calling Squall over the intercom but he never answered.  Sighing, he turned to Nida who was busy piloting the Garden.  "Go get him!" he said.  Apparently he was very annoyed at this point.  Nida saluted in response and Cid took the controls.

Nida ran all the way to Squall's room, when he finally got there he was out of breath.  But nothing prepared him for what he was about to see.  Squall was laying on the floor, hugging his gunblade and a stuffed penguin to his chest, above him was a tent that was tucked into a dresser drawer.  It looked like something a five year old had put together.  But none of this was as bad compared to Squall.  He was sound asleep on the ground, his medium length hair was pulled into pigtails, and his fingernails looked painted!  Blue?  But it wasn't nail polish, because Nida noticed the blue Crayola Magic Marker next to him.  To top it all off, he was snoring, loudly.

"Squall?" Nida asked quietly.  "Squall?" no answer.  "SQUALL!!" he jumped up and looked around.  Seeing Nida he rubbed his eyes tiredly and yawned.

"Whaddaya want?" 

"Well, uh Cid's been calling you for the past half hour," he explained eyeing him suspiciously.  "The Garden Festival is tonight and since you signed up on the committee, you are in charge of finding the entertainment.  You were actually supposed to have it already done, but from the looks of it…" Nida stopped.  Squall shot up off of the floor and covered his mouth with his hands.

"The Garden Festival?  Tonight?!  I forgot all about it!" Nida watched confusedly as Squall jumped around his room, trying desperately to get ready.  "Okay, I will have the band ready for tonight!" Squall said zipping up his pants and running into the attached bathroom.  Nida just nodded and left the room, his hand on his forehead, he tried desperately to get the disturbing image of Squall out of his head.

Shortly after Nida left, Selphie trudged on her way to the cafeteria for her morning dosage of Lucky Charms.  _I can play the guitar, hmmm, and Squall's voice probably would sound very cool singing…hmmm hmmm hmmm…_she thought.  _I guess I need to get a band together.  _She concluded as she stepped into the cafeteria.

"Lucky Charms please!" she exclaimed.  After picking up her bowl and getting a muffin, she sat down between Zell and Irvine.  

"Hey Squall!" Zell greeted her, however Irvine slunk away.  "What's up?"

"I'm puttin' together a band!  You wanna join Zelly-welly?  Uh, Zell?" 

"Uh, sure…" he said stuffing his face with his Strawberry flavored Pop-Tart.  

"Yay!  How about you Irvy?  Can't you play bass guitar?"

"I'm not joinin' your God forsaken band!" Irvine shouted running out of the room.  

"What's this about a band?" Seifer asked sitting down.  "I play the bass guitar…"

"Really?!?  You can join!  Practice starts in five minutes, and we have to be ready for the concert tonight at five!  I'll get Quistis to do wardrobe!" she exclaimed.  "Meet me in the Quad after breakfast!  As for now, I'm gonna concentrate on me Lucky Charms!" she laughed madly as she scooped the last of her cereal in her mouth.  

"Okay…" Seifer replied somewhat uneasily.  Selphie smiled and left the table.

"I'm gonna go find Quisty now!" she reported to the others.

"Was he wearing pigtails?" Zell asked turning to Seifer after 'Squall' left.  Seifer nodded in response.

"And he had blue fingernails…"

*Selphie's dorm, in Squall's POV*

Squall sat in the middle of the floor.  Rinoa and Quistis had not slept all night, nor did he.  By this time of night, his brain didn't seem to function properly anymore.  He stared into space; his eyes were feeling heavy…NO!  He wasn't going to sleep!  The last time he did that…he shuddered.  Didn't even want to think about that.  Quistis once again turned to the digital clock.

"It's now 8:00, and since we have the Garden Festival tonight, we better get some sleep.  Because Selphie has a lot of last minute errands to run." She pointed to a heaping pile of papers sitting on a table.  Squall, however wasn't paying any attention, as soon as he heard them say he could sleep, he did.  Rinoa and Quistis giggled and did the same.

"Selphie!  Selphie!  Get up!" it seemed like only five minutes later that someone was already harassing him to get up.  Squall sat up and placed hand on his forehead and let his eyes come into focus.  "It's noon!  The Garden Festival is starting in about five hours you need to run the last minute errands." It was Irvine.

"Leave me alone." Squall said falling back into his sleeping bag.  

"Get up!" Irvine this time grabbed him by the arm and stood him upright.  Squall fought back but to no avail, in this form Irvine was stronger then him.  "You better hurry and take a shower and get dressed…" he suggested.  Squall motioned him to leave as he started heading to the attached bathroom.  From the looks of it, Rinoa and Quistis had already left.

"You don't need any help do you?" Irvine asked waggling his eyebrows.

"I'll manage…" Squall said dully, and slammed the door in Irvine's face.  

"O-okay!  I'll just wait for you out here then, eh?"

"What are you doing in Selphie's room?!" Seifer's voice came.

"On second thought Sefie, I'll be seeing you later!  Bye!" Squall gave a sigh of relief and continued on his way to the shower.  He looked in the mirror for a split second, he was doubting whether or not he wanted to take a bath, even if it had been several days, going to the bathroom in her form was bad enough!  But then he noticed something different.  Blood?

_Am I bleeding to death!?  _"Girls have to go through a lot more then you boys give us credit!" something Selphie had told him before, a long time before.  Then all of a sudden it snapped, he knew what was going on, though he didn't want to believe it.  Health, the class that he thought was the most pointless, had described what puberty was like for both guys, and girls.

_But I never paid any attention in class!  What am I supposed to do!?_  He looked back down at the splotch of blood, and then started to look desperately around in all her drawers.

Five minutes later Squall jolted out of the bathroom.  _Nothing but tampons!  I followed the directions just like it said on the back of the box…it's pain!  God, it's worse than fighting Ultimecia, and she was bad enough!  _Spinning around with amazing speed, he checked the clock.  It was now 12:30.  _Better get dressed.  _

He put her dress on, and he tried to pull her boots on while standing up.  That was disastrous.  Jumping up and down in place, trying to balance himself, he knocked into her desk.  His head hit against her stereo, and it started blaring music.  But the song itself was horrible to listen to.  

**Have you ever seen me singing in the sunshine one lovely afternoon?  You can hear me if you really want, you can hear me clear pretty soon.** "Ahhhhhhh!  Turn it off!  It burns!  It stings!  It's torture!" he covered his one of his ears, and with his other hand he tried to figure out how to turn off the stereo.  Finally, he succeeded with the evil noisemaker.

Completely and utterly exasperated, he sat on the bed and continued to put on the boots.  When he finished, he noticed Selphie's collection of CDs.  _I haven't listened to decent music in awhile.  I wonder if she has System of a Down?  _He walked to where she had her CDs on display.  One of the covers was brightly colored and on it was the title "My Friends' Theme Songs!"

As he scanned the songs on it, he noticed one was labeled 'Squall's Theme'.  _I have to hear it!  _He put it in the stereo and waited.  A blast of guitar started the song, then a man started singing.

What did I do to ignore them behind me?  Do I follow my instincts blindly?  Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams and give into sad thoughts that are maddening?  Do I sit here and try to stand it?  Do I try to catch them red-handed?  Do I trust someone and get fooled by phoniness, or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?  'Cuz I can't hold on when I'm stretched so thin, I make the right moves but I'm lost within, I put on my daily facade but then, I just end up getting hurt again by myself.  MYSELF!  I ask why but in my mind I find, I can't rely on myself.  MYSELF!

Before long, Squall found himself head banging to the beat.  _Wow, she knows me a lot better than I thought.  _He scanned the list and decided to listen to them all.  Zell's theme song was the Oscar Meyer Weiner song.  Irvine's theme song was 'Cowboy' by Kidrock.  So on and so forth.  Squall was actually having a lot of fun, but lost track of the time.  When he looked at the clock it was nearing two.  THE GARDEN FESTIVAL WOULD BE STARTING IN THREE HOURS!

He hurriedly grabbed all the papers for Selphie's last minute errands and ran out of her dorm.  

*Later that Night…*

Selphie helped Zell and Seifer set up the stage.  She was so excited she could hardly contain herself!  The Quad was already starting to fill as never before with students ready to have a full night of fun.  

"Ready!  A-one, two three!" Selphie exclaimed.  Seifer and Zell nodded and started to play 'We will rock you'.  Squall's fanclub was standing in front of the stage screaming their heads off.  There were several posters that said, "We love you Squall!" one that said "Squall rocks my face off" and one that read, "Seifer is a hottie!" (Three guesses on who was holding that one, and the first two don't count ^_-).  

Squall had walked in late; he was so sick and tired of wearing Selphie's bright orange dress, that he scrounged her closet looking for _anything_ less colorful.  Eventually he found a simple black dress with a note attached to it that said, 'For funeral use only.' He completely disregarded it and put it on.  Black!  He was so happy to be wearing black again!

When Squall walked in, he noticed something weird.  Selphie was wearing pigtails!  In his hair!  And even weirder was that the boys that had long enough hair, did the same thing.  _Is it possible Selphie started a new fad?  I'm gonna kill her!  I'm gonna KILL her!  _

He leaned up against a wall in the back of the crowd and started thinking of plans to kill her slowly and painfully.  However, Irvine interrupted his train of thought when he approached him.  

"Can I have this dance?" he bowed, trying to act charming. 

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"C'mon Sefie!  Do it for me baby!"

"Irvine Kinneas, when I say 'no' I mean 'no'!" Squall shouted back at him.  Irvine walked away looking a bit distraught.  Squall didn't really care at this point, _maybe I could sneak into her room at night, and stab her!  No wait, that wouldn't work, can't lift the gunblade.  Hmmmm…_

He continued to think and lean against the wall.  He remained there most of the night, and didn't hear much of Irvine either, which made him even more content.  Eventually, after playing 'Myself' (Selphie figured she had to be somewhat fair to Squall) Selphie's band stopped playing.  "Thank you Balamb Garden!" she yelled over the commotion.  The room erupted in applause.  "Now, for the rest of the night, Zell will be DJing!"

"Oh my God!  I love you Squall!"

"Hold my hand!"

"Kiss me!"

Several other shrieks were coming from the fanclub as she stepped off the stage.  "Hey that isn't right!  Bunch of perverts!" Selphie started, but her remark was drowned out by the sound of a million girls glomping her.

"Get OFF of him!" Rinoa yelled literally ripping the other girls away from 'him'.  

"Gee, thanks Rinny!" Selphie exclaimed hugging her.  _This is better.  _Rinoa thought hugging 'him' back.  But almost as soon as Selphie started hugging Rinoa, she let go, because she saw Squall standing so lonely in the corner.  She figured she should say hi!

"Hey party pooper!" she said slapping his shoulder.  Squall grunted to acknowledge she was there.  "Why the long face, scroooooge?  And WHY are you wearing my funeral dress?"

"Why are YOU wearing my hair in pigtails?" Selphie shuffled her feet but didn't reply. While she looked down at the floor, he leaned in to try and pull one of the hair ties out but failed, and instead landed flat on the floor, leaving something on the wall that Selphie couldn't help but laugh at.  

"Did TOM come to visit?" she asked between giggles.

"Huh?  Who's Tom?"  she pointed at the wall and there was a small splotch of blood there.  Squall blushed, and then Selphie shrieked.  

"Oh my God!  Turn around!" _this isn't good, what if he walked around with blood showing through all day?  How embarrassing!  This is ME we're talking about._

"Why?"

"I need to look at your butt…"

"WHAT?!" he shrieked.

"What?!?" Rinoa repeated, obviously overhearing her.

"Nothing Rinny!" Selphie turned around and rubbed the back of her head nervously.  Rinoa eyed 'him' suspiciously and walked to where Quistis was standing.  "Now turn around!"

"No!" he protested.  Selphie wasn't in the mood for arguing; she instead grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him around by herself.  Sure enough, there was a big red splotch on his butt, but it was barely visible because of the black dress he was wearing.  

_Thank God he wore black!  _"You're coming with me…" she said grabbing him by the arm and leading him out of the Quad.  "And cover your butt while walking, I don't want anyone to see that!"

_Hehehe, revenge, _Squall thought.  Instead of listening to her he just walked out and didn't pay any attention to the strange looks, and stares he was getting.  Selphie lead him back to her dorm and searched through the bathroom.  

"I should have pads in her somewhere…" she threw miscellaneous objects out of the depths of her vanity, but sure enough there weren't any.  "Don't worry," she stated getting up, "I'll ask Dr. Kadowaki for some."

Squall opened his mouth to argue, but before he said anything she took off down the hall.  "Selphie-er, Squall!  Get back here!"  but Selphie didn't give him so much as a sideways glance.  "Dammit!"  he kicked the ground with disgust and sat down on the bed to wait for her return.  

Selphie skipped, extremely fast down the hall and stopped in front of the infirmary.  _Hope she's in there!  _Selphie continued at her excited pace.

"Hello Squall, what brings you here?" Dr. Kadowaki asked looking up from some paperwork.

"Got any spare pads?" Kadowaki spit her coffee that she had just taken a sip of all over Selphie.  

Wiping her mouth with her sleeve she apologized, "Sorry Squall, uh, why do you need pads?"  _What would Squall say?  Poopy!  I'm in his body, make up something fast!_

"Uh, R-Rinoa bled through her outfit a-and she's too embarrassed to come down in her state…" _Wow!  I'm getting good at this!  Go Selphie!  Go Selphie!  It's your birthday!  It's your birthday!_  Kadowaki nodded and dug through some of her drawers, finally pulling out a box of pads.

"Here you go…" she said raising her eyebrows.  "Rinoa must be lucky to have a boyfriend who cares enough to come get pads for her." _Or is secure enough for that matter, _she thought silently.  

"Thanks Doc!" she winked and skipped on her way out.  As she was on her way back to the dormitories, she knocked into Seifer.  

"Pads?  Leonhart, why the hell do you have these, 'Extra Absorbency Maxis'?" he read off of the box.  

"None of your business!"

"I think it is…" Seifer replied smiling wickedly.

"Leave him alone Seifer…" Both Selphie and Seifer turned around at amazing speed to see Zell standing there with his arms crossed across his chest.

"What are you gonna do about it chicken-wuss?" Seifer spat.

"Yeah, what are you gonna-oops," Selphie bonked herself on the forehead.  _Silly goose!  He's on your side!  _"Heya Zell!"

"Hi Squall.  Rinoa's looking for you…"

"First I have to take these to Sq-Selphie…" she said holding up the box.  Zell nodded, even though he was still confused.

"Uh, hello people." Seifer said, all the attention had been removed of him and he felt left out.  ((Oh!  Poor Seifer ::::hugs him:::))  "I'm still here!"

"Go back to the party!" Zell told him as he starting to do some shadow boxing.  

"Chicken-wuss, swatting flies again?"

"Shaddup!" Zell yelled back at him.  Selphie restrained him.  Seifer chucked and walked away.

"Tell Rinny that I'll be back at the party in a while." 

_That's funny, Squall never calls Rinoa Rinny.  Rinoa told me to find out what's going on if I can.  Maybe I should follow him?  _"Okay Squall.  I'll go tell her." 

Selphie smiled in approval and started back to the dorms.  Zell walked behind her, trying to keep enough distance so that she didn't see him.  

"Brought ya the pads!"

"You went to Dr. Kadowaki's office, in my body, and asked for pads?" he asked shaking his head.  "Did anyone see you on the way back?"

"Nope, just Seifer and Zell." All the color drained from Squall's face.  Zell, who made himself comfortable leaning against the wall by the doorway, but made sure to stay out of sight, gasped but quickly covered his mouth.  

"I can't believe you would do that to me!" Squall yelled.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Selphie all of a sudden screamed.  "My Irvy pictures!"  _this is too weird!  _Zell thought, but continued to listen.  "What did you do to my Irvine shrine?!"

"I can't stand looking at his face for too long, that's all."

"You are so mean!" Selphie replied, tears started to form in her eyes.  Zell couldn't take it anymore, he stepped into their view.

*Zell's POV (So things might get confusing…. 0.0)*

"What are you two talking about?"

"How much did you hear?" Selphie asked pursing her lips and crossing her arms.

"Enough to confuse the hell out of me…that's for sure." He replied.

"Should we tell him?" Squall asked Selphie.  Selphie shook her head no.  "C'mon, he's already heard some of it, and if he knows maybe he can help us…"

Selphie hesitated but complied, she motioned for Squall to answer the question.  "Me and Squall switched bodies, I'm actually Selphie." He said.

Zell laughed hysterically, "HAHAHA!  Good one Squall!  I never thought you had a sense of humor!" he rolled groping his sides.

*Back to Normal POV*

Squall had enough of this.  He stood up to where Zell was rolling in hysterics on the floor and kicked him.  Good and swift in the buttocks.    
  


"Ow!  Hey!" Zell stood up.  "You two are serious aren't you!" the two nodded.  "Then I have to tell the others!"

"No you don't!" Squall said grabbing him by the back of the neck.  "No one is to hear anything about this, you hear?  But, you can help stop spreading the rumors, got it?"

"Okay okay!  Let go, let go!" Squall let go of him.  Zell rubbed the sore spot on his neck and started for the door.  "Zell will hereby start on rumor control immediately!" he saluted them sarcastically.  

"Yeah!  Go get 'em Zell!" Selphie excitedly saluted back.  Zell laughed nervously and took off in a sprint down the hall.  _Too weird!  _He thought to himself.  _Oh well, I better keep my promise though!  _

"As for you mister!" Selphie said pushing Squall into the bathroom.  "You are gonna get a full fledged lesson on TOM!"

"What the hell is this Tom you keep talking about?"

"TOM is the code word for Time Of Month.  It works really well." She giggled madly and shut the door behind her.

*Meanwhile* 

_Wow, Selphie bolted out of the party awfully fast.  _Irvine thought as he walked down the hall.  _I better go check on her.  _Even if Selphie had said some mean things, he didn't think she meant it.  She hadn't been acting herself lately.  

He rounded the corner to her dorm, just as he walked in he noticed 'Squall' walk out of her bathroom, with a big cheesy smile on his face.

Selphie had a big kick out of the whole thing.  That the almighty Squall, couldn't put up with something that she had to put up with monthly.  She had left him with a box of Midol, so when she left the bathroom, she couldn't help but be all smiles.  However, when she exited, she noticed Irvy standing there.  

Selphie opened her mouth to say something, but Irvine didn't wait to hear it.  Instead, he stormed out, knocking over a few people on his way.  "Irvy!  Stop!" She yelled chasing after him.  Irvine, seeing 'Squall' run after him, ran even faster.  Eventually Selphie fell behind and stopped running.

_Yep, I'm going to get revenge.  So help me Selphie, I will get revenge! _ Squall said sitting down on her bed.  _Only two more days to go!  _He reassured himself.  _Better go back to the party…but I better change first.  Damn!  I don't want to wear yellow!_

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

A/N: Hey hey hey people!  That one was longer than we expected and we apologize!  But we hope you liked it! And about you pairing people, don't worry, this is a Squinoa, Selvine fic!  It's just that we don't focus on the romance.  ^_~  Remember ideas are always welcome!  We need as many as we can!  Oh!  And are there any girls that are obsessed with Squall and everything about him?  We are going to have a chapter dedicated to the fangirls and a make-your-own-fangirl thing.  Just review us the following. (Not a Mary-Sue…just a fangirl) ^_^

Fangirl's Name- Fangirl's Physical Traits- Fangirl's Personality- Habbits?  Hobbies?- 

Oh and by the way, about the songs in Selphie's room.  If you didn't already know, the first one is from an earlier Final Fantasy, it's a perky song that Mickayla downloaded for us.  (Thanks babe!) And the second one is called 'Myself' and Linkin Park sings it…R&R!  Our goal is 80!


	7. HandyMan Zell

Disclaimer: We don't own Final Fantasy, we wish we did, but alas we weren't the lucky ones. 

A/N: Thank all of you reviewers!!!! We really really love all of you! ^_^ This is our most successful fic so far…and now we are going to be good fanfiction writers and respond to our reviews! **Raine18**~Our first reviewer! Yay! Thanks for the praise! **Lunar-Girl**~ Our dedicated fan! Thank you for all of your ideas and compliments! **Mickayla** and **Virginia**~ Our buddies that help us soooo much with the story line! Keep 'em comin' girls! **CTHKSI**~ You've reviewed almost all of our chappys! And you always have something positive to say! Thanks! **Meelu the Bold**~ we loved your advice! And you gave us some feedback too, so we thank you!!

The first part is half-in-half, some of it's Irvine/Rinoa's POV and some of it is ours…ENJOY!

Handy-Man Zell

As Zell walked back on his way to the Garden Festival, he felt something knock against him. The force knocked him to the floor.

"Ouch…" he complained as he lifted himself up. Noticing Irvine storm down the hallway, he knew what hit him and ran to catch up.

" 'Sup?" Zell asked as he rubbed his sore tushie. Irvine stopped in place, this action caused Zell to run into him and knock him back on his booty. 

"What's up? What's up?! I'll tell you what's up!" Zell carefully pulled himself up once more, trying to rub the pain out of his rear. "Selphie is having an affair with Squall! That's what's up!" Irvine threw his arms up dramatically.

"What? No she isn't…"

"Okay, then tell me, why was Squall in her bedroom? In her BATHROOM at that!! I caught them red-handed!" Irvine fumed.

__

Damn! I can't tell him the truth, don't wanna suffer Squall's wrath even if he is in Selphie's body. Zell got a wild mental image of Selphie wielding a chainsaw and shivered. _No…_ "Uh, d-didn't you hear?"

Still angry, Irvine shook his head, but a bit of concern showed through his eyes.

__

C'mon…think Zell! Think! "Uh, she got sick at the Festival." Zell spit it out a little faster than he meant, but Irvine's face softened and he listened more intently. "Someone spiked the punch, and Squall took her back to her room, she was pukin' her brains out, and he was uh, holding her hair back." _There we go!_

"Then I guess I owe her an apology. But why would she ask Squall and not me?"

"She didn't want you to worry." _Man, I'm getting good at this!_

"Okay, then I have two more questions…" Zell nodded nervously. "How do _you _know all this?"

"I followed 'em."

"Ah, and uh." Irvine leaned closer so no one else could hear. "Where is the spiked punch?" Zell rolled his eyes.

"Maybe you ought to apologize first."

"Right…" he looked back to the Quad, he ached for some of that punch, but reluctantly went back to the dorms. Zell mentally gave himself a pat on the back, and headed back to the Quad to look for Rinoa.

Making sure to stay out of the sight of the disciplinary committee, Irvine trudged on his way back to Selphie's dormitory. _How am I gonna make it up to her? I really overreacted, hmmm…_Irvine continued to think as he approached the door. He lightly knocked on the door and 'Selphie' answered the door, she was already in her pajamas.

"Hey babe." He smiled warmly and stepped into her dorm. 'Selphie' attempted to slam the door in his face but he was too quick and stepped in before 'she' could. "Look, I know you're mad at me about what I said earlier, but I want to make it up to you. How about I take you out to eat?"

"Not interested." 'She' answered dully, and once again tried to shut him out. Irvine however, blocked this action by stopping the door with his hand. 

"I figured you might say that, so…" he smiled, almost wickedly, and continued. "…I guess that I'll just have to drag you out. No big deal." Squall's eyes widened in horror as Irvine rummaged through Selphie's closet and pulled out an elegant dress. 

"I'm taking you to that new Italian restaurant, you need to look your best." He handed him the dress. Squall crossed his arms stubbornly and didn't say anything. "If you don't put it on, I can always dress you instead." He grabbed the dress out of his hand and stomped into the bathroom. 

Minutes later, he returned, dressed in the gown, but an immense frown was spread across her face. "C'mon Sefie! Can't you look happy?"

"No." 

Irvine sighed. "Well then lets go! I'll be taking you with me whether you smile or not." He smiled evilly, but Squall still didn't budge from where he was standing. "Alrighty then, you leave me no choice." He flung him over his shoulder, picked up a pair of high heels and Selphie's purse and left the dorm.   


"Irvine Kinneas! Put me down this instant!" he screamed flailing his arms aimlessly and kicking wildly. Irvine continued to walk down the hall with the petite girl hanging over his shoulder, tipping his hat at all the people that were giving him strange looks. 

"I will _never _forgive you for this Irvine!" Squall screamed at him as he tried desperately in a final attempt to kick him, but when this didn't work, he went limp. _I just wont talk to him the rest of the night._

"Oh, hey Irvy, whatcha doin'?" Rinoa asked, looking slightly intoxicated. _What she got to the spiked punch before me?! _

"Did you drink the punch or somethin'?" he asked as his eyebrow formed a small tic. 

"No I didn't spike the punch!" she laughed somewhat madly and stumbled in the direction of Squall's dormitory. Shaking his head, Irvine continued on his way to the Parking Lot to borrow the Garden's car. 

He politely opened Selphie's door first, and motioned for her to get in. Grumpily, Squall sat down in the front seat and crossed his arms in front of him. Irvine sighed and sat in the drivers seat, "Seatbelt!" he reminded as he backed out with the car. 

*Rinoa*

"Whee!" she exclaimed skipping down the hall. Quistis had drunk some of the punch as well, and she was in the infirmary getting some aspirin for her head. _Such a party pooper! _Rinoa flung Squall's dormitory door open, 'Squall' still had pig tails in his hair and was rearranging his collection of fluffy toys.

"Hiya!" she greeted him as she slumped down on his bed. 'Squall' turned to look at her.

"Hey Rinny!" Selphie greeted her happily. "How's it goin'?"

"Look…Zell explained everything to me." Selphie smiled, _good…but he didn't tell her that we switched places did he? _"He said, 'Squall's had a lot on his mind lately,' so how about I get your mind off of things for awhile?" she smiled cheesily. _Uh-oh…_

"Uh-well Rinny, I don't want to get intimate..." Rinoa laughed.

"No! You're taking me on a date!" she said falling back into Squall's bed. _Is she unconscious? Please! Let her be unconscious! _Selphie stood up to check on the drunk woman, when she approached the bed Rinoa popped back up. "Ha! I scared you!" she laughed, followed by a hiccup. 

"Hahaha! Good one Rinny!" Selphie exclaimed. _I can't go on a date with Rinoa! I'm a girl!!!! _

"So, where are ya takin' me?" _ Crackers! I spent all of Squall's salary on my new fluffy toys collection! _She looked at her wonderful new collection, complete with pink fluffy bunnies and of course, everyone's favorite, Snoogans and Toodles! _It's gonna be a low budget date…DATE?! AHHHH!!! Okay, think of it as a girl nights out…yeah there we go. Breathe…breathe. _

"You 'k Squall?" Rinoa asked sitting up slightly. 

"Yupperoo…just thinking."

"Of course!" Rinoa said falling back into the bed once again. "Tell ya what, how about I pay for the date tonight? Like a Sadie Hawkins thing?"

"Oki doki then! Where we going? We're gonna have fun fun FUN!" Selphie exclaimed jumping up and down. Be it because of the amount of alcohol in her system, or that she was just all too used to Squall acting like this now, Rinoa joined in with the jumping and mad laughter.

"Can we go to that new carnival?" Selphie begged. "I wanna ride the carousel!"

"Sure!" the two of them skipped out of Squall's dormitory and down the hall. 

*Squall and Irvine*

"Do you have a reservation?" asked a man that was sitting behind a podium. His suit was perfectly ironed and his hair slicked back. 

"No, do you have any room?" Irvine asked. He had set Squall back down, but was keeping a grip around his waist to make sure that he didn't flee. The man consulted a pamphlet he had in his hand.

"Just the two of you?" he asked without looking up. Irvine nodded, "Right this way please…" Still holding onto 'Selphie' Irvine followed the man. Their waiter set them down at a table in a dim room, with a single candle lit in the center of the table. "Take your time." He said with a slight bow and left.

"What do you want Sefie?" Irvine asked putting down his menu and leaning over the table. In response, he noticed that all she did was cross her arms and refuse to make eye contact with him. "C'mon, what's wrong? You can tell me! What did I do?"

"You carried me to the Soc gathering, flung over your shoulder may I add." Squall spat. Irvine dropped his head and looked at his hands, and fiddled absentmindedly with his jacket. 

"Well, uh. I feel bad about what I said earlier, and I really wanna make it up to you. Is there anything I can do to make you forgive me?"

"You can leave me alone."

"Besides that I mean." Squall looked at Irvine, _he really cares about her, and she really likes him. But can I help it if I hate the bastard?! I won't be too mean to him, I'll just have to find a way to escape that's all. _

"How about I order for the both of us?" Irvine asked picking up the menu again, he was trying to change the subject. 

"Be my guest." Squall answered.   


"Are you ready to order?" the waiter seemed to appear magically right next to them.

"Ah, yes. We want two orders of the Beef Ravioli, and some salad." He winked at 'Selphie'. The waiter scribbled their order down on his notepad and bowed again.

"It will be done shortly."

"Thanks!" Irvine called after him. "Hey, Sefie, why don't we dance while we wait?" 

"No."

"Don't make me drag you out there." Irvine smiled evilly again.

"You wouldn't dare." Squall's eyes narrowed, trying to give the most evil look he could muster, but alas there is no way for Selphie to look evil without looking funny. Irvine laughed at her attempt to look threatening.

"Oh you bet I would, so will you dance?" 

__

He wouldn't drag me out there. I'll just sit here…noticing that 'Selphie' wasn't moving from her seat, Irvine sighed and flung her over his shoulder again.

*From the bystander's POV*

Bobby was hoping tonight would be perfect in every way possible! He was planning on doing it, yes, tonight he would pop the question to his girlfriend Bertha. He had his finely tailored suit on, and Bertha was wearing a nice long sparkly dress, she looked breathtaking tonight! "Uh, Bertha…" he started as he fumbled around in his pocket where the ring was.

"Oh my gosh!" Bertha pulled her hands up to her mouth and laughed. 

"What?" 

"Look!" she pointed to the dance floor. There was a man there that resembled a cowboy, with a girl flung over his shoulder.

"IRVINE!!!" the girl was flailing everywhere trying to escape the man's grip.

"Should we call the police? Couldn't that be like abuse?" Bobby asked turning to his date. She shook her head and continued to watch the drama unfold on the dance floor.

"Sefie! Calm down, if you don't stop kicking you're going to show God and everyone your knickers!" the man said as he pulled her off of his shoulder. Hair disheveled, the girl began stomping off the dance floor. "Oh no you don't!" he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her close to him.

"We really shouldn't be watching them dear…" Bobby said as he tried to pry his eyes away from the crazy couple. 

"Oh come on! You're no fun!" she answered, keeping her eyes locked on them.

The cowboy who was about a foot taller than the tiny girl now had his arms around her. She looked extremely agitated and about to rip his head off, then he placed his hands on her butt, this got a really interesting reaction.

"Irvine, if you don't keep your hands off of me I swear to God I'll have to kill you!" she screamed, he placed his hand over her mouth and looked nervously around at all the couples that had turned to look at them. 

Bertha continued to stare in entertainment as the girl bit down, as hard as she could on his hand. The man removed his hand from her mouth, "What was that all about?!" the girl didn't answer, but instead started to walk silently off of the dance floor, before being grabbed by him again.

"Look, Bertha, will you…uh, marry me?" Bobby asked quietly looking down at his feet. This got her attention off of the couple.

"Oh Bobby!" she squealed and glomped him.

*Back to Squall's POV*

__

Does he WANT me to kill him? If he does I could, it wouldn't be too difficult. Irvine was holding onto his hips and was swaying to the music, then Squall noticed that their waiter was bringing their food. _Thank God! _He stepped out of Irvine's grasp and said, "Food's ready!" and ran back to the table.

__

That's the old Selphie! Irvine applauded himself, _maybe if I play my cards straight I can get a kiss before the night is over. _

*Rinoa and Selphie*

Selphie had conveniently told Rinoa to bring her purse. As drunk as she was, she wouldn't notice Selphie 'borrowing' a few gil, right? The carnival was in Balamb, and since Irvine and Squall had taken the Garden car, they had to walk. Of course, Selphie wouldn't dare leave anywhere without Toodles, despite Rinoa's complaints. 

Making sure not to step off of the road, the two headed for Balamb and the 323rd Annual Mesmerize Cookoff, only they didn't know exactly what they were in for. Upon entering the small town, the first thing they noticed was the carnival (yay!), then the music started.

"Come get yer barbecued Mesmerize meat here!" a man was shouting from across the street. There was a table with several contestants competing for the best Mesmerize recipe, and there were lines backed up for several streets.

"WHAT?!" Selphie exclaimed upon hearing 'Mesmerize'. "But they're too cute to eat!"  


"Squall, they've tried to kill us in the past, with their little horny things." She said holding her forefinger to her forehead to imitate a Mesmerize, then she started prancing around squealing. 

"B-But. It's not fair!" she cried running over to the table, butting in front of many people in the process. "I'm so sorry! It wasn't meant to be this way!" she said as she stroked the meat and tears streamed down her face.

"Oh Squall! I didn't know you were so sensitive! You're gonna make me cry!" she said while wiping tears from her own eyes. Soon, she had joined Selphie in stroking the meat and crying.

"We promise! We'll breed you a bunch of baby Mesmerizes, and we'll keep 'em, and hug 'em and call them George. Well, most of them at least."

"Um, sir, I'm afraid we have to ask you to leave. You are contaminating the meat." A man said grasping both Selphie and Rinoa by the shoulder and leading them away from the booth. 

"I, I couldn't save them Rinoa! Forgive me!" Selphie squealed and cried into Rinoa's shoulder.

"Um, Squall. Please get off me, you're hurting me." Selphie nodded and straightened up. Setting their sights on the rides instead of the poor Mesmerizes, they headed for the ticket stand.

Trying to be as quick as possible, Selphie mugged a few gil from Rinoa's purse. "We want twenty tickets!"

"Alright, that will be twenty gil." Said the ticket person (thing, guy, whatever). Selphie paid her, or rather, Rinoa's money and got the tickets.

"Well, what should we ride first?" Rinoa asked starting to snuggle up against 'Squall'. _Girls night out, that's all it is, a girls night out. _"I wanna ride the Ferris Wheel!" Selphie nodded and followed Rinoa to the attraction.

They handed the Carny (we don't know how to spell it, and the computer's not helping.) their tickets and got on one of the lifts. _Girls night out, girls night out. _

"Oh Squaaaaaaallllllll!!!" Rinoa said in a flirtatious manner. _GIRLS NIGHT OUT! GIRLS NIGHT OUT!!!_

*Squall and Irvine*

"…and this time, we gonna get FUNKY!"

"Selphie! What do you know? It's your favorite song!" Squall looked down at his almost untouched Beef Ravioli.

"B-but…"

"No buts! Now come on!"

"I don't know how!" he argued. 

"What? Very funny Selphie, this is your favorite song, and dance for that matter!" Irvine said dragging him back onto the dance floor.

"To the right!" Squall unenthusiastically obeyed. "To the left!" he boringly stepped to the left of him. "To the back!" did it. "Cha-cha now y'all." _What? _He looked around the dance floor and mimicked as best as he could the motions everyone else was doing. 

"C'mon Selphie! You need to get into it!" Irvine exclaimed as he hopped. 

"Get into it?! GET INTO IT?!" _That's it, he's really making me mad! _

"To the right now!" _stomping on Irvine's head. _"To the left!" _stomping on it again. _"To the back now y'all." _Stomping! _"cha-cha real smooth." _Smearing his blood all over the place! _"One hop this time!" _Smashing him! _"One hop this time!" _right in the genitals…_Squall winced, he knew how much it hurt, but it was no more than Irvine deserved.

"Wow Selphie that's better!" he said as he watched 'her' do the "Hands on your knees! Hands on your knees!" But he also noticed that he wasn't the only one, many other boys were watching intently as 'Selphie' danced. "A-actually, Selphie. Maybe you better calm down."

"What?" Squall was having far too much fun fantasizing how many ways he could torture Irvine, just by doing this dance.

"I SAID WE SHOULD GO SIT DOWN!" Irvine yelled over the music.

"Irvine Kinneas, I will do whatever I want, when I want!" Squall replied stubbornly as he stomped five times, imagining that Irvine's head was the target. Nonetheless, Irvine just picked him up and dragged him off the dance floor, and placed him back in his seat.

"Now, let's eat!" But then it struck him. He had a plan. Selphie had packed the purse for him, with pads and also something else that he had never even thought of using, until now. Cosmetics, loads of them! Squall took a few bites then excused himself from the table and headed to the bathroom. 

"Excuse me, emergency…" he said knocking a girl that was in front the mirror out of the way. He desperately searched through the purse and laid all the makeup out on the counter. _Um, not sure how to do this…_

He had powder, eye shadow, and deep red lipstick. _Okay, now what was it that I looked like when I had my allergic reaction to Lucky Charms? Man, I loved those things, and they were taken away from me! Of course, I didn't start breaking out until a few days afterwards… _After thinking awhile, he got a mental image in his head of what it looked like, then he got to work. He powdered his face until he looked pale, then he used the lipstick to draw dots on his face. When he finished he dabbed a little water to his forehead to make it look like sweat. _Ha! Perfect!_

Squall used his amazing ability to act (yeah right) to struggle his way back to the table. "Selphie! What happened? You look horrible!" Irvine said standing up as Squall pretended to collapse to the floor.

"Allergic reaction…to…ravioli." He stammered.

"Oh no! You need to go back to the Garden! I'll take you to Dr. Kadowaki!" _Oh man! This sucks…_

*Rinoa and Selphie*

As they were at the peak of the Ferris Wheel, Selphie's face started to itch. She reached up to scratch, and realized her face felt somewhat swollen and bumpy. _But! I had the chicken pox in the first grade! Oh no! What if Squall hasn't had them yet?!_

"R-R-Rinoa, w-what's wrong with my face?" she asked as she brought her hands down. Rinoa stared at her blankly for a long time.

"Uh…hmmm…is this a trick question? Hyne, I know the answer! Don't tell me, don't tell me!" 

"And it itches so bad!" Selphie started to cry. The alcohol slowly started wearing off and then Rinoa realized that there _was _something terribly wrong with his face.

"Squall! You're breaking out! Don't tell me you've been eating Lucky Charms! You know you're allergic!" _What? _

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!! I'M GONNA DIE!" she got so worked up about the whole thing, that she fainted. 

"Dangit!" Rinoa said as the Ferris Wheel slowed to a stop. "Now I have to carry him all the way back to Garden!" 

Upon noticing the unconscious and sick looking man, the Carny asked worriedly, "Is he okay?"

"What the hell do you think bub?"

"Heights?" she shook her head, "Was it you?"

"Bastard!" she screamed and slapped him. 

*Later in Kadowaki's office*

"Well well well, what do you know. Two people breaking out in allergic reactions on the same night…" she said eyeing Squall and Selphie. But it was Squall in particular that caught her eye.

"Will she be alright Doc?" Irvine asked worriedly from one side of the room.

"Well…" she started to say it wasn't real, but Squall was doing the sarcastic wink as if saying, 'I'm alright, just save me from this psychopathic maniac' (isn't she good deciphering all that?). "Yes, she is very, very sick. I'm afraid I'll have to make you leave so I can run tests." Both, Irvine and Rinoa nodded and left the room.

"Go wash up Selphie." She said pointing to a sink. Squall nodded and did as he was told, the whole time thinking. _Damn it! She ate Lucky Charms, I should've warned her! _After washing all the excess makeup off of his face, he sat back down next to Selphie.

"Now," Kadowaki began sternly, "In exchange for that, you both need to explain what is going on. I can't help you unless I know what's wrong."

"Well, I had an allergic reaction…" Selphie started rattling on.

"NO! From the beginning…" The two teenagers exchanged glances. _I guess it's alright, if she's going to try to help us. _

"Well, you see it all started when…"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Yes! That one is finally over! :::victory music is played and we both dance to the cha-cha slide, also squishing Irvine's head::::: Well, it's 12:50 in the morning, and my back hurts (Anna) and my elbow hurts (BreeAnne). Well, time to R&R! The only thing we want for Christmas is reviews (and our electric guitars, more manga and videogames! Can't forget those video games! Also, if you want, you can donate money for they buy-Anna-a-Playstation2-fund! BreeAnne's funding is already done! LOL! Send the money to Squall's dorm, that's where I'll reside) ::::evil laugh:::: Okay, sorry we're ranting now, we'll leave you alone. ALSO! We still need more fangirls…we have ::counts on her fingers::: one, not counting me and BreeAnne! Oh and OSUWARI!!! (Did you know that live spelled backwards is evil?) lol, thought you might like to know that ^_~

__


	8. Babysitting and Mesmerizes

Disclaimer: We do not own Final Fantasy VIII, it belongs to all those brilliant people in Squaresoft.   
Babysitting and Mesmerize Training   
  
The obnoxious sound of Selphie's phone was more than enough to wake Squall up. Rolling over, he noticed the time. It was the weekend, meaning he was sleeping in as long as he could, and it was two o'clock. _Well, it can be one of two people._ He thought going over to pick it up. _If it's Irvine, I'll have to kill him._   
  
"Hello?" he asked groggily into the receiver.   
  
"Selphie?" it was a woman, "Is that you dear?"   
  
"Uh :::yawn::: yeah."   
  
"Sorry if I woke you up," _no you're not_, "But Bill and I were wondering if you would baby-sit Alex for us again tonight. We were wanting to out to eat and see a movie." _Baby-sit? Not my style_. As he was getting ready to answer 'no', the woman started up again. "Of course we'd be paying you. How does, 500 gil and hour sound?"   
  
Squall thought for awhile. Babysitting was definitely not something he had ever done in his life, but 500 gil was an awful lot of money if you thought about it. "What time do you want me over there?"   
  
"Is five alright? I know you're busy with your SeeD studies and all, but we'd really appreciate it."   
  
"I guess I'll see you at five then."   
  
"Oh thank you dear!" Squall nodded boringly and hung up the phone. Heading towards the closet he decided to wear Selphie's trademark outfit, being the most comfortable thing she owned.   
  
*Meanwhile, what could be going on with Selphie?*   
  
Selphie stood in a salute in front of Headmaster Cid. "Right on time Squall." Cid nodded smiling. "I just received word from Trabia that there has been a recent dilemma regarding Mesmerizes. Seems they have been 'a terrible nuisance'." He read from the report he was holding.   
  
"Oh well," he continued looking at Selphie, "Your job, Squall, is to do what you want. Exterminate them or whatever, but they need to be taken care of." _Take care of them!_ Selphie squealed with joy.   
  
"Alright Headmaster! I will get on it as soon as possible!" she saluted him a second time and ran out of the room.   
  
"Hmmm, he seemed happy. Probably wants to get away."   
  
*Conflict! Conflict! AHHHH!*   
  
After realizing that he had no idea where this kid lived, Squall decided to ask Selphie.   
  
"Oh, he lives in Trabia. You can come with me! I'm going on a mission to take care of Mesmerizes!" her eyes lit up as she continued, "I'm going to start a corral, and have Mesmerize rides."   
  
"What?! But the machine should be done tomorrow!" he yelled at her. "You can't leave, because we are going back to Dollet to get switched back!"   
  
"Well, sor-ry. It just so happens that I've always dreamed of having a Mesmerize of my own! And I would hug it and feed it and call it George!" her hands were clasped together as she went on with describing her lifelong dream.   
  
"Look Selphie! I really don't care about your dreams, I want my body back!" Selphie smiled evilly and turned away from him.   
  
"Then I guess I'll have to stay away as long as I possibly can, just to irritate you!"   
  
_Okay, I've had to put up with her body, her PERIOD for the last few days. I deserve better! _ "Look, I haven't shaved your legs the whole time I've had your body."   
  
Looking down with disgust at the legs that were once hers, Selphie noticed disgusting stubble. "Sicko! If you haven't shaved you should at least wear pants!"   
  
"You have pants?!"   
  
"Well, uh, no. But that's besides the point!" If looks could kill, Squall's would've at that minute. Getting the picture, Selphie gave in, "Okay fine, I'll go back to Dollet with you. But if my rank goes down, I'll have to kick someone's butt!" she punched his shoulder playfully, but only got a scowl in return.   
  
"I'll have the advantage if it works." Squall replied, referring to the machine. This time it was Selphie that scowled. Without much more words they parted to get ready for the missions. They mutually agreed to meet at the Ragnarok at four thirty.   
  
*The babysitter from hell*   
  
As Selphie piloted the Ragnarok, she noticed something strange about Squall. It seemed he was literally prepared for battle. The nunchakus were in their sheath on his back, and he had a suitcase full of armor.   
  
"Uh Squall, you know, this is babysitting, not war."   
  
"I've heard the stories. Rinoa used to baby-sit for that Big Bad Rascalâ¤º" he stopped in mid sentence and shook his head. "I'll be prepared for anything."   
  
"No you wont! I'll be taking those!" she exclaimed taking everything away from him. "His mother has a weird thing about weapons. She'd drop kick you out of her house if she saw you near those nunchakus."   
  
Squall sulked for awhile. _I'll never win. I have no weaponsâ¤ºMAGIC! She can't take my magic away from me too! _ "Oh and Squallâ¤ºmagic too. I'll have to take all the magic you've junctioned. We don't want her to think you're a sorceress do we?" she giggled madly, but Squall didn't find it the least bit funny.   
  
Before going to work out the Mesmerize problem, Selphie dropped Squall off at the house he would be babysitting for. It was a giant mansion, surrounded by an iron fence. _No wonder they're paying so much. There is no way out, and the damn place is probably haunted._ There to greet him at the door was a plump woman with short red hair.   
  
"Selphie! It's so good to see you again!" she exclaimed as she bounded over and hugged him. Squall thought he would die from lack of oxygen before she let go. "Alex can't wait to see you! He's waiting inside!"   
  
The woman shoved Squall into the house. Sitting on the floor in front of the television was a little boy, probably five at the most. He was too engrossed in watching Spongebob Squarepants to notice.   
  
"Alex, Selphie is here!" the boy turned around from where he sat. A smile spread across his face and he jumped up off of the floor.   
  
"Selphie! Selphie! Selphie!" he exclaimed jumping up and down. Then, the boy grabbed onto Squall's leg, despite all the stubble.   
  
"Also, I'm sure you remember this from last time, but he shouldn't eat any sugar. Numbers are by the counterâ¤º" Squall looked down at his leg, where the boy was still attached. _Damn, I'm gonna hafta get this kid surgically removed or something._ It was obvious, to everyone except maybe the woman that he wasn't paying any attention to a thing she was saying.   
  
"Well, that's all! I'll see you two in a few hours. Have fun!" A man came walking down the stairs and took the woman by the arm. The two left and almost automatically the child looked up at Squall with any evil glint in his eye.   
  
"What is it?" Squall asked getting a little freaked out.   
  
"I'm hungry." _I don't know how to cook. That woman never mentioned cooking! _   
  
"What do you want?"   
  
"What do we have?" Rolling his eyes, Squall headed to the kitchen and looked through the pantry. Nowhere did they have Raman noodles, the only thing that he could actually make. Alex followed behind to look as well.   
  
"I want Easy Mac!" he said pointing to a blue box. _That shouldn't be too hard to cook. _   
  
Even following the directions exactly, Squall still found a way to screw it up. After pulling the crap-in-a-dish out of the microwave, he set it in front of the five-year old. Alex looked at Squall in disgust, but he picked up his spoon and started to dig in.   
  
The noodles were sticking to the bottom of the bowl, and, much to Alex's dislike the noodles on the top weren't done, and were still crunchy. But that wasn't as bad as the fact that, "You forgot the cheese." Alex pointed out.   
  
"What?" Alex pointed to his meal, sure enough there wasn't a hint of cheese in it. Getting severely agitated, Squall asked with his teeth clenched, "Is it Cheesy Mac? No! It's Easy Mac!"   
  
Sniffles could be heard coming from the other side of the room. "What? Are you gonna cry?" Alex quickly shook his head and wiped his tears, but still refused to eat the macaroni. "Look kid you have to eat. If you starve, I won't be paid."   
  
Tears ran down the child's face. _Keep the kid happy until the parents come home._ He walked casually to the pantry and searched it. _I was a kid once, what did I like when I was a kid? SOYCUBES! _As he continued to look through the pantry, he noticed much to his dislike, they had no soycubes.   
  
Alex remained crying in the background as Squall continued to search. He moved from the pantry to one of the cabinets. After moving several bags of chips out of the way, he noticed a package of Pixie Stix. _Oh yeah, kids like candy. Maybe this will keep him happy for awhile._ Casually, he opened the bag up and pulled a few out and tossed them at the boy.   
  
Alex looked up with watery eyes, but when he saw the Pixie Stix, it all went away. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" he squealed as he opened one after another and poured them into his mouth, letting the pure sugar dissolve on his tongue. Sighing, Squall sat down in a spare chair and watched as the kid grabbed another handful of Pixie Stix.   
  
*Five minutes later*   
  
"Wohoo!" Alex screamed as he zipped across the room. The five year old had changed clothes and his underwear was on the outside of his pants. Also, his baby blanket was tied around his neck like a cape. "I'm Sugar Man! Watch me destroy this mere mortal with my super amazing strength!" He exclaimed as he picked up a vase off of a pedestal.   
  
There was no way out! Even if he managed to get outside of the house alive, the iron gate would hold him in. He was trapped! It was like a prison!   
  
"Hey kid! Watch it! That's fragile!" regardless of Squall's plea, Alex dropped the vase on the floor. Squall dived in for it just in time and set it back on its pedestal. However, Sugar Man was already on his way into the kitchen, where there were many knives and other sharp pointy things.   
  
When Squall arrived, he was too late. Alex had found all the silverware and was eyeing the knives with interest. But because Squall was ten years older and ten years faster (somewhat) he grabbed the knife out of his site.   
  
"Now!" he roared angrily. "Sit!" Alex just continued to run circles around the kitchen. "SIT!" he roared again, this time pointing the knife at the boy. Looking terrified, Alex did as he was told. "Now, you better stay there. If you know what's good for you." Squall narrowed his eyes menacingly, causing Alex to giggle.   
  
"You look funny when you're mad Sefie!" he laughed. Squall sweatdropped and turned to the bag of Pixie Stix.   
  
"And, because I can't put these back where they were without you finding them. I guess I'll just have to finish them myself." Squall looked at innocent looking bag of Pixie Stix. _Aren't these things just flavored sugar? How could they possibly taste good?_   
  
*A Mesmerize Named George*   
  
"So what's the big problem?" Selphie asked upon arriving at Trabia Garden. The man that had greeted her simply turned her head to look straight at a field. A hoard of Mesmerizes were jumping around and flinging their horns everywhere, completely destroying one part of the Garden. "Oh they're so cute!" she clasped her hands together and nuzzled them against one of her cheeks.   
"Uh, just do what you have toâ¤º" the man's eyebrows raised and he ran off. For fear of his life, be it from either the psychopathic SeeD, or a stray horn.   
  
Excitedly, Selphie ran into the middle of the field and petted a Mesmerize. "Hello George!" she exclaimed happily. The Mesmerize looked at her wide-eyed as a group of several other Mesmerizes developed around them. "Oh, you love me! You really love me!" As if answering her, all of the Mesmerizes head butted her out of the field.   
  
"Playing hard to get, eh?" she winced as she rubbed her sore bum. "Time for Plan B."   
  
*Squall? On a Pixie Stix high?*   
  
"This stuff is great!" Squall said as he bounced up and down in his chair. In one of his hands he was clenching wrappers of countless Pixie Stix, and in his other, he had the remaining few that he would soon be finishing. Meanwhile, Alex was staring longingly at the last of the sweets. Noticing this, Squall smiled evilly.   
  
"You want 'em?" he asked waving them in front of the kids face. Alex nodded excitedly. "Well, you'll have to fight me for 'em!" Squall yelled.   
  
He ran over to the counter and pulled on one of the drawers that held pots and pans. Quickly, he placed a colander (or a spaghetti strainer, whatever you call them) on his head and he grabbed a pan lid and used it for a shield. Lastly, he grabbed a spatula and held it in the air. "It's war!" he declared.   
  
Alex's weapon of choice was a whisk and his armor included a pan for a helmet and another pan lid for a shield. In the middle of the room, lay those innocent looking Pixie Stix, the reward for winning this battle. The first one to get to them won, but it wouldn't be as easy as they thought.   
  
Squall reached the pile of sweets first but just as he was ready to grasp them, Alex jumped on him, tackling him into the ground. As a distraction, he started beating Squall over the head with his whisk. Victory was near for the young boy, however Squall wouldn't give up that easily.   
  
Letting out a ferocious battle cry, Squall grabbed his shield in one hand and his spatula in the other and started to try and knock the five year old off course. But Alex came back with a vicious counter attack. This time, he knocked Squall's colander off his head, and placed his own helmet on it, then with all his strength, hit the side of the pan.   
  
The ringing reverberated off the sides of the pan and temporarily stunned Squall, thus giving Alex the advantage. Just as he neared the Pixie Stix, Squall thrust his leg out in front of him. Using his legs, Squall squeezed the boy.   
  
"Say uncle!" he demanded. Alex struggled but couldn't get out of the lock. "Say it!"   
  
"Okay okay! Uncle! Uncle!" Squall smiled and let go of him. Standing up cockily, he started for the Pixie Stix. "I never said I surrendered!" Alex yelled running at him again. This time when Squall was tackled, Alex sat on the small of his back and started tickling him.   
  
"CHEATER!" Squall screamed as he struggled to evade the grasp. However, nothing he was doing seemed to help.   
  
"Surrender!"   
  
"No!"   
  
"Surrender!"   
  
"NEVER!" Squall yelled. Summoning up all his energy (with the help of Pixie Stix he had quite a bit) he managed to stand with Alex still on his back. Reaching down he grabbed the last handful of candy. "I AM VICTOIOUS!" he screamed triumphantly.   
  
The ringing of the telephone however, interrupted his victory as he rushed to answer it. "Selphie? Is that you?" a woman asked.   
  
"Yup, sure is!" Squall answered twirling the cord around his index finger.   
  
"Oh, we just left the theater and we should be home in a few minutes."   
  
"Oh that's great! Can't wait 'til you get back!"   
  
"We'll see you soon then. Bye!"   
  
"Buh Bye!" Squall answered. Smiling he looked around the house, but his smile soon faded. The house was trashed! From the looks of it Hurricane Hugo had decided to pay them a visit.   
  
"Time to get cleaning!"   
  
*Selphie's Plan*   
  
Selphie had taken a small trip to the store and bought the following things: ribbon, a pole, rope and artificial flowers. Sure, it looked extremely silly to passerbys. I mean, seriously, a big handsome muscular guy (drools) is wrapping ribbon around a pole and telling it periodically, "You will be so pretty when I get done with you!"   
  
After long hours of working, Selphie finally finished. Again, she walked with her head held high to the center of the Mesmerizes. They stopped terrorizing the Garden long enough to watch the man invading their territory.   
  
With ease, she shoved the pole into the ground. It was wrapped with several pink shaded ribbons and an arrangement of flowers topped the whole thing off. Delicately started to tie the rope around the pole. At the end of each rope was a loop big enough to slip over a Mesmerizes head then be tightened. (So in other words, like a hanging knot O.O)   
  
As quietly as she could, she crept up behind her first victim. Quickly, she slipped the loop over its head and tightened the knot. Despite the horse's neighing and protesting, she jumped on its back and started riding bareback. Eventually the horse calmed down.   
  
"See! This isn't so bad, huh Georgie?" she slipped off the back of the poor animal and started to chase after the next Mesmerize that was so unlucky as to cross her path.   
  
*Hide the evidence!*   
  
"Wow! Selphie, once again you have outdone yourself!" Alex's mother praised Squall. "You cleaned and even got Alex in bed before nine!" Yeah, I had to pay himâ¤º "You even have a fire going! You are truly the sweetest girl ever!" Squall looked at the fireplace where the Pixie Stix wrappers were crackling. Hopefully she didn't notice.   
  
"So how are you going to get back to Balamb?" the man asked. _ Damn! Never thought of that!_   
  
"I think I'll call Sel-uh, I mean Squall." The man nodded and pointed him towards the phone. _Okay, think Squall, think! There's no way she'll have a phone on herâ¤ºI guess my only hope lies with :::gulp::: Irvine. _   
  
"You know what?" Alex's mom piped in. "Where are you heading? I could give you a ride." Squall let out a sigh of relief. _Well, I need to be with Selphie because we're going to Dollet tomorrow. _   
  
"Trabia Garden if that's alright ma'am." He answered politely. The woman smiled and nodded.   
  
"Hop in the car. I'll get you there in no time." Squall nodded and did as he was told. "Be back in a while honey!" she called after her husband.   
  
The woman was like a freaking mad man! It seemed that she was the one on Pixie Stix at that moment the way she was driving. At one point she'd be on the right side of the road, then 2.5 seconds later she was on the left. Also, she was going a good seventy-five miles per hour on a thirty-five miles per hour road.   
  
But, thanks to her reckless driving, the made it to Trabia Garden in record time. "Here's you money." She said handing him 1,500 gil. "Come over anytime! You're always welcome!" she yelled out the window as she pulled out and drove off.   
  
_Well, first things first. Need to find Selphie._ It was getting late, and the sun had set a long time ago making it hard to see. The Garden's lights were on, and he could faintly make something out in the distance.   
  
The familiar shape of the Ragnarok was the first thing he noticed, and that was where he started heading. But as he neared it, he saw something that he was not prepared for. Yeah, so Selphie had said she wanted to start a Mesmerize corral, but he didn't think she was serious about it! Here she was with a May Pole in the middle of Trabia Garden's land, leading the junior classmen around on the Mesmerizes like some kind of pony ride!   
  
"Selphie! Just in time!" she called over to him winking.   
  
"What the hell are you doing?!"   
  
"Watch the language, there are children about!" she scolded. Squall pursed his lips but didn't say anything.   
  
"Does this mean that your mission is over?" he asked, getting slightly annoyed at this point.   
  
"Just about." She answered. "But someone has to stay here and watch over the ranch. Here let me introduce you to my new friends!" she exclaimed grabbing him by the hand. "First we have George!" she pointed to one grumpy looking Mesmerize. "And we have Georgia, Georgina, Georgie Porgie, and last but not least Frank!"   
  
"Frank?"   
  
"I ran out of George names okay?" Squall tried to stifle the laughter but was unsuccessful. Selphie rolled her eyes and went back to hosting the pony rides. "Just get in the Ragnarok, the rides close in thirty minutes." This time it was Squall who rolled his eyes, but he was too tired to argue.   
  
Slowly, he slumped into the Ragnarok, and tried to find a place to lay comfortably. Ultimately, he ended up falling asleep in the copilot seat in the cockpit. A while later, Selphie boarded the ship also and fell asleep in the seat next to him.   
  
Tomorrow they would be free!   
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   
This is it! Last chance to get the fangirls in! The next chapter (should) be the last and the fangirls play a big part! So, if you want to be a part of this, get those reviews coming in! We really want reviews! PLEASE! Our goal is still 80 and we only 49 :::puppy dog eyes::: We know you guys really love us, and if you love us then review away! Ideas are still appreciated! --with out deepest love-The CuteMooglez!   



	9. Attack of the Fangirls

Disclaimer: We don't own FF8, but one day (I hope) I will own Squall, and I will force him to marry me against his will…:::is shoved out of chair by BreeAnne:::  as long as I get to marry Inuyasha I wont stop her!!!

**Lunar-Girl, xomoombaxo, Pink Starz, CTHSKI: **Thank you guys!  You are our dedicated readers for which we thank you!  You probably have no idea how much we love the reviews we get from you guys! 

**RoMayDrako: **::smiles cheesily:: that's alright.  It's kind of flattering that people like our ideas so much!  

**Mickayla, Hollis, Anastasia, Melissa, Jesse: **Thanks to all our hometown friends who read and review for us!  (Even though Jesse doesn't play the game, he's just nice like that) Sorry Micky!  We would use the character you made up, but we already finished writing the story, and it would be hard to change it at this point.  So we just used you as a person!  Anastasia, we can try to insert you in the next chapter!

**NadiaZimbabwa: **We can insert you in the next chapter, but we need more details about your character!

The Fangirls' Secret Meeting…

            Several girls sat around a table.  All looking solemn and serious (somewhat).  They all had one common goal.  But they weren't sure what it was, yet.  Their were still waiting for the fearless leaders (ooohhh ::hides behind couch::).

            "Where _are _they?" a girl with shoulder-length brown hair complained as she looked at her wristwatch.

            "I'm sure they'll be here any minute, Charity." Another girl answered.  Sighing, Charity looked down at her Griever necklace (specially made by Zell) and started fiddling with it absentmindedly. 

            "Can you two keep it down?" a girl asked from the floor.  "I'm trying to get in touch with my creative side." She brought her pencil to her lips and started to draw on a piece of paper.  Seconds later, she brought the paper up to her face and kissed it.  "There!  I'm finished!"

            With a huge grin on her face, she sported the drawing she had just completed.  It had Squall hugging her.  "No fair Ryuu!" Moomba yelled.  "Who says _you _get him?"

            "I said!" Ryuu retorted sticking out her tongue.

            "Well, I think that picture is cooler than a hamburger!" Charity exclaimed beaming.  ((Sorry!  We tried!))

            Then of course, there was Mickayla.  She had short redish brown hair that she wore in a half bun.  On her right, there was a Squall poster.  On her left, an Irvine one.  "Squall," she looked at the Squall poster, " Or Irvine?" She looked to her left, "How can I possibly decide?  Oh cruel fate!" she kissed the posters in one swift movement.  Then started over again, "Squall, or Irvine?

            In the corner of the room, sat the final member of the fanclub.  Her violet hair was all askew as she meditated next to the Squall poster.  On her head, she wore a cowboy hat.  Her name: Aislinn.  Her mission: to bring chaos into the Squall fanclub.  

            It all started a few weeks ago.  The Irvine fanclub declared war on the Squall fanclub, refusing to believe anyone was better than Irvine.  And the Squall followers thought the same way about Squall.  She had been sent to prove them wrong.  How could she make Squall look bad?  And in the meantime, how could she possibly steal Irvine from Selphie?

            But enough with that!  Back to the story!  

            "Coming!!!  I swear we're coming!!" came a yell from behind the doorway.  

            "Pogo sticks and pixie stix!  Pogo sticks and pixie stix!" came another voice (going a mile a minute).  All at once two figures burst through the door, skipping.  One had long brown hair that was very untidy, and under her arms she carried several documents and papers.  The second had long goldish hair that was neatly combed, and in one hand she held a bag of pixie stix, and in the other a pogo stick.  Both girls barely reached 5'1''. 

            "We're here!" they yelled in unison throwing up their arms.  Glares came from everyone around the room.

            "What took you so long?  We've been waiting like a knife!" Charity yelled from across the room.

            "Well, sor-ry!" the brunette yelled.  "To let you all know, we were gathering top secret information!"

            "And pixie stix and pogo sicks, and pixie sticks and pogo sticks!" BreeAnne chanted.  Aislinn looked up briefly, her eyebrow formed a small tic and she went back to meditating.

            "To the bean bags!" Anna yelled pointing to a group of seven bean bags.  Everyone jumped into their personalized Squall beanbag, except for BreeAnne.

            "Look what I can do!  Look what I can do!" she said extremely fast.

            "What's up with her?" Mickayla whispered to Anna.

            "She cast Haste on herself…again."

            "Oh.  God help us." Ryuu said from across the room.

            "Watch!  Watch!  Watch!  Watch!" her voice got higher and faster each time she said it (think chipmunks).  "You're not watching!  Okay, ready?  Ready?  Ready?  Okay?  Ready?  Ready?"

            "Oh my lord.  What is she going to do?" Moomba asked looking scared.  The crazed teenager started bouncing up and down.

            "One!  Two!  Three!  Hastega!" with that, BreeAnne started zooming across the room at amazing speed on her pogo stick.  "You can't catch me!  You can't catch me!"

            "Watch this!" Anna said.  "I learned a new trick too!  We were doing this all the way here, (that's why we were late).  Slowga!" Anna started walking about three times slower than slow motion.

            "You can't catch me!  You can't catch me!" BreeAnne squealed still zooming around.

            "Ooohhhhh, yyeeeeesssss, Iiiiiii caaaaaaannnnnn." Anna said slowly trying to catch up with her counterpart to no avail.

            "Stop!" Aislinn yelled from her beanbag.  BreeAnne froze in her place, just about ready to collide into a wall.

            "Esuna!" this one, Mickayla yelled.  Anna started walking normal speed again.  

            "Should we leave her that way?" Moomba asked about BreeAnne.  Almost all the girls nodded except for Mickayla and Anna.  Anna was too busy drooling at the Squall poster to hear anything.  

            However, Mickayla had a better plan.  "No, trust me.  I know what to do." She pointed to where the girl had stopped.  "Esuna." Without further ado, BreeAnne collided into the wall.

            "Don't worry about it!  Happens all the time." She said holding onto her head.  After taking a few seconds to recover, she reached into her pocket, "Anyone want some Pixie Stix?" she was now talking at normal speed.

            All the girls stared at her like she was crazy, except Anna.  She was still drooling at the poster.  "Anna…?" Ryuu waved her hand in front of her face.  "Annnnaaaa." No response.  

            "Don't worry I know what to do." BreeAnne said casually.  Then she pulled out a Pixie Stick.  "Hmmm…I guess there's only one Pixie Stick left…"

            "Let me at it!" Anna yelled tackling BreeAnne.  

            "It always works." BreeAnne smiled triumphantly.  

            "Aren't we here for a reason?" Moomba asked getting impatient.  

            "Yes!  Glad you asked!" Anna said as she sat back down in her beanbag.

            "As head staff of SOFT (Squall's Official Fan Tribe), we are going on a secret mission.  A very dangerous mission at that!"  oooos and aaahhhs came from all directions.  "We are going to find out what's behind Squall's recent behavior.

            "But as you all know, he is very observant."  The fangirls all groaned in unison remembering all the times they tried to catch him off guard.  "I found these papers in the Headmaster's Office…"

            "Uh Anna?" Ryuu started.

            "That's Head Leader to you!  Mortal!"

            "Uh, yeah.  Why were you in the Headmaster's Office in the first place?"

            "Well, uh.  I got into a teensy bit of trouble when they found me trying to sneak into Squall's dorm.  I had my little tent staked out and everything, but the Disciplinary Committee found me.  Damn you Seifer!  Any foe of Squall's is a foe of mine!"

            "Anyway." BreeAnne rolled her eyes and grabbed the papers from Anna.  "It says in here that Squall and Selphie will be in Dollet tomorrow.  We are going to follow them!"  

            After searching through the mess of papers, Anna finally found the ones she was looking for and started handing them out.  "Here's the mission briefing.  Study it hard!  We leave in, ::checks watch:: five minutes!"

            "Five minutes?" Charity asked looking up from the packet.  "How are we getting there?"

            "Well, you see.  We trained some chocobos to swim.  And you better be grateful!" Anna said.

            "My idea!  My idea!"

            "Yes, everyone has BreeAnne to thank for this wonderful idea." Anna said.  BreeAnne looked around with the insanity showing in her eyes.

            "I painted mine pink!" she said.

            "You _what?_" Mickayla asked looking up.  "You can't just paint animals!"

            "Well, uh.  Mine's purple." Anna said looking at her feet.  Disgustedly, Mickayla rolled her eyes and went back to reading the packet.

*Squall and Selphie's trip back to Dollet*

            Selphie and Squall managed to make it to Dollet in one piece.  However they weren't at all pleased with what they found.  

            Upon entering the city, they automatically went to the spot where the machine had been before it exploded.  But, nothing was there.  Sure, there was that black spot on the pavement, and several people standing around but nowhere to be seen was the man, or the machine.

            "Uh, sir," Squall asked the first man he saw.  "Where is the man who built the machine?  And the machine for that matter?" the man gave Squall a skeptical look.

            "He's been in the Nuthouse for the past week or so." The man finally answered.

            "What?!  B-but, what about us?!" Selphie squealed jumping up and down.  

            "Where is this Nuthouse you speak of?" Squall asked.  For an answer, the man pointed to a building that had a sign over the door that said, "Happyville Psychiatric Center.  Where there's a smile on every face, and love in every heart!"  The sign had smiley faces and hearts all over it.  

            "Ugh." Squall snuffed after taking one look at it.  "Uh, thanks." The man nodded and walked off.  "Well, I guess we have to go there." Squall said to Selphie.  Excitedly she nodded.

            Fortunately, the Psychiatric Center wasn't far away.  Just down the street.  

            As soon as they arrived, Squall threw open the double glass doors and stepped inside.  A woman sat behind a counter reading a magazine and blowing bubbles with her gum.

            "Um, excuse me ma'am." Squall said, struggling to see over the counter top.  Looking slightly agitated, the woman looked up from her 'Boy Next Door' magazine.

            "Yea?" she asked.

            "Um, we need to see the man who was committed because of the machine he was building." Squall said uneasily.  _Damn, never bothered to learn his name!  _The woman looked at the two with a blank expression for a very long time.

            "Uh, he's pudgy, kinda bald.  Drinks an awful lot too." Selphie started.  The woman gasped.

            "Oh!  I know who you're talking about!" she exclaimed.  "But he's a special case.  Friends, family and special personnel only."

            "But we _are _his friends!" Selphie whined.

            "We are also SeeDs from Balamb Garden.  We must see him, it is extremely urgent!" Squall said dully.  The woman looked at him blankly again.

            "Well, uh okay.  Go straight down this hall," she pointed down a very long hallway.  "It's the last door at the end of the hallway." The two SeeDs nodded and followed her finger down the hall.   

            "Oh!  These people look so sad!" Selphie squealed as she looked through a few windows.  "They need hugs!  Can I give them hugs Squally?"

            "No."

            "Please!  They need them!"

            "No."

            "Think of it as helping out a person in need.

            "Let me think about it.  Hmmmm…NO!"

            Selphie looked hurt but didn't say anything.  Instead she continued to follow the very long hallway.  The door at the end was drawing slowly closer.  

            "Hey Selph…" he started.  But when he turned to look behind him, he noticed she was nowhere to be found.  However, he saw one thing, and that was a door slamming shut.  "Oh crap," was all he could seem to say.  He immediately ran after her.

            "Looky Squally!" she exclaimed, "This door was unlocked!" 

            _No shit.  Thank you Captain Obvious.  I think I could've figured that out myself.  _He mentally slapped himself.  Reaching forward, he tried to grab her arm before she had made it completely inside the room, however, she just ended up dragging him in as well.

            Sitting in the middle of the room was a teenage girl in a straightjacket.  She had shoulder length blonde hair that looked tapered.  

            "Hello!  My name is Sel-er Squall!" Selphie said coming in.  "And I think you need a hug!" 

            The girl looked up at her and giggled.  Not a cute little girl giggle, more like a poor excuse for a mad scientist laugh.  Squall made a face of disgust and started backing for the door.

            Selphie walked over to the door where it said 'Mitchi Kisaragi: Psychopath'.  "Hello Mitchi, do you want a hug?" she asked.  Mitchi was now jumping up and down in her jacket.  

            "Selphie, I wouldn't touch that if I were you.  You don't know where it's been!" Squall said.  Selphie shot him a death glare and walked to the bundled up figure and gave her a hug.  The girl promptly bit her in return.

            Still smiling, and still laughing.  "Was that a sign of affection, or do you just not like me?" Selphie shrieked.

            "Watch it Selphie!  She might have rabies!" 

            "Shut up _Commander_." She retorted.  "Besides, it will be your problem if we switch bodies!" Rolling his eyes, he started for the door again, this time exiting safely.

            Then, he watched through the window as the drama unfolded.  Mitchi was now following Selphie around the room (hopping on her butt) and Selphie was running around, screaming with her hands thrown in the air (think ET).

            "Told ya so!" Squall yelled immaturely, even though he wasn't sure if she could hear him or not.  

            It wasn't long before Selphie was at the window with her face pressed against it.  However, it turned out that the walls _were _soundproof.  So, whatever it was that she was saying, he didn't hear.  He just thought it was funny all the weird faces she was making.  

            "What's that Selphie?  I can't hear you!" he teased, she however glowered at him when he refused to help.  He was being so mean!  Holding the doorknob on the other side of the door so that she couldn't get out!  And he was laughing about it!

            Desperately, she started turning the doorknob with all her might trying to get out.  (Squall was having to use both hands a focus extremely hard so that he could hold onto the knob) but when he realized he couldn't hold it any longer, he just let go.  The door swung open and Selphie fell face down on the linoleum floor.  

            Squall cracked up, clutching his sides and gasping for breath, he eventually got out, "You should've seen your face!" Selphie continued to scowl at him as they walked down the hall.

            _I'm not talking to him again.  Not ever!  Never, never, never again!  _ The two SeeDs walked in silence for a long time.  But something started creeping Selphie out.  

            Not sure quite what it was, she ignored it for a long time.  But she could swear she heard footprints behind, but she refused to look.  Eventually, she gave in, breaking her own vow, "Squall.  I have a feeling someone's following us." She whispered.

            Squall spun around just in time to see a girl duck behind a trashcan.  "What the?" he recognized her!  "Will you guys stop following me!" he yelled at them.  

            "Code Red!  Code Red!  Squall!  Squall!" the girl started screaming.  Out of nowhere, six other girls jumped out from their hiding places and started sprinting in the opposite direction.

            "What was that all about?" Selphie asked looking at Squall.

            "SOFT.  Scary they are, you'd better try to avoid them.  How long have they been following us?"

            "Soft?  I love soft things!" Selphie squealed happily, going completely off the subject.  Yet again, Squall rolled his eyes and tried his best to ignore her for the time being.  

            Finally, they reached the end of the hall.  Right there in front of them was the room where the machine maker should be.  The only problem was that there was a man standing guard in front of the door.  A big man who looked like he could easily tear Selphie (as in the body) into little pieces.

            "Oh monkeys!" Selphie said under her breath, then she pulled Squall aside.  "We need to get in!"

            "No shit Sherlock!" he mumbled.

            "Okay, that means we have to get passed this dude.  So, I have a plan." Squall's eyes widened.  _Selphie has a plan?  It can't be good!  _"It always works.  You need to flirt with him."

            "WHAT?!"

            "Shhh!  It's not that difficult!" she said covering his mouth with a hand.  "Just bat your eyes, and say things insinuating that you want in.  If you do good enough he'll let you."

            "Selphie…"

            "Yeah?"

            "You owe me big time," was all he could think to say.  Sighing, she shoved him forward.

*Guards POV*

            "Miss, can I help you?" he asked looking down at the petite girl.  

            "Hello," she answered batting her eyes.  Only, it looked more like she was blinking repeatedly than actually batting them.  "My name is Selphie Tilmitt." Her voice was high, but it almost stayed in a monotone.

            "Uh, hi," was all the man could think to say.  He saw that a few paces behind her stood a man, with a very strong structure.  _Would she flirt in front of her boyfriend?  _He automatically thought.  _Huh, maybe this babe is single.  _

            "So, what are you doing?" the girl winked like an amateur.  Yet, he thought it cute.  _She wants me bad.  _

            "It's my job to guard him," he pointed to a bald man sitting in the middle of a padded room.  _It's him!  _Squall thought triumphantly.  "He's very dangerous," the man said in a boasting like voice.

            ":::cough:::: Stroke :::cough::: his arm :::cough:::" came from the man.

            "You have a cold or something?" the guard asked.  The man vigorously shook his head 'no'.  

            The girl started talking again, "Do you think you could let me see?" she stroked her finger up his arm.  _God, I'm going to kill Selphie.  I feel like I'm going to be sick!  _

            "S-sure." The guard stuttered and he unlocked the door for them.  Selphie then did something that surprised Squall.  She attacked the guard and knocked him unconscious using the hilt of Toodles.  

            "Thanks Sefie.  Now, after we switch back, remind me to kill you."

            "Okay…wait!  That wasn't very nice!" 

            Squall sniggered as he approached the man.  "Where's your machine at?"

            The man looked up, "Why should I tell you?" he snarled.  Squall jumped backwards noticing his sudden hostility.

            "Because I am a trained SeeD from Balamb Garden mercenary force, and I could easily tear you in half with…" he reached behind his back and pulled out Selphie's nunchakus, "these.  Don't make me used them!" _Please don't!  I still don't know how!_

            "Okay, that's reason enough," the man shrugged.  _Wow, that was a lot easier than expected.  _

            "So, you'll give it to us?  Free?!" Selphie exclaimed happily.  

            The man shook his head, "Only if you bail me out." 

            "Deal!" Squall said.  This was their only chance of switching back!  And even if they did have to set free a psychopathic loser on the streets of Dollet, they wouldn't care.  They would have their bodies back, and probably never return to the crummy little town!

            "How much is the bail for?" Squall asked.

            "Not that much, just one hundred million gil."

            "ONE HUNDRED MILLION GIL?!?" Squall and Selphie screamed in unison, then looked at each other.

            "Where are we going to get the money?" Squall thought out loud.

            "We can start a fund!  Wouldn't that be fun?!  We could set up a booth outside and have a little jar people could drop money into!"

            "Yeah!  And it could be called the 'Free A Psychopathic Moron Donation'!" Squall exclaimed sarcastically and mockingly.

            "I don't appreciate being called a moron," the man insisted, still strapped firmly in his straightjacket.  

            "Meanie," she stuck her tongue out at Squall, crossed her arms and looked away from him, her nose in the air.

            "Okay, I have some money saved in the bank downtown.  But I doubt it will be enough."

            "Enough of this!  Let's just smuggle him out!" Selphie said throwing her arms up.  "I have a plan anyway."  

            _Oh God, not another one._

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Great news everyone!  It's not over yet!  Trust us!  The fangirls have a much bigger part to play in this before it's over!  We should have at least two more chapters after this!  Oh!  And thanks everyone for the reviews!  We are nine away from our goal!  Keep them coming, (this makes us feel all warm and fluffy inside, you have no idea!).  If you have any last minute ideas you want to see, feel free to let us know!  Time for you readers to do your jobs and review us!  Let us know what you think!


	10. Jail er Huthouse Break!

Disclaimer: We don't own Final Fantasy VIII, O.o How many times do we have to tell you people?!? 

A/N: :::both girls stare open mouthed at the computer monitor::: Guess what guys?  We can't believe it, but WE REACHED OUR GOAL OF 80 REVIEWS!  Not only did we reach it, we passed it!  Yay!  :::does a little victory dance:::  We truly truly love all of you!  But don't stop!  We want to see just how many reviews this will give us!

**FactorMatrix: **Thanks for adding us to your favorites!  (along with everyone else who did as well!) Thanks for the praise!  You're making us blush!

**Grasshopper: **That would be cool if we could get this published, but unfortunately since we do not own the characters or places or anything like that except the story line, we would be sued.  :::cries:::

**Goldilocks: **::gives you big hug:: Yes!  You did win!  Everyone, meet our newest friend!  Our 80th reviewer!  Yay!

**Lunar-Girl: **Rachel, thank you so much for all your niceness!  ^_^ We love reading your reviews probably as much as you love reading our story!  

Alright, now that that's taken care of, ENJOY!

Jail (Er…Nuthouse) Break!

            "Okay, so what's the plan?" Squall asked timidly.  No one knew better than he that Selphie's plans were either Pixie Stix induced, or horribly humiliating.  Instead of answering, Selphie knelt down next to the unconscious guard and grabbed a ring of keys.

            "Alright, here's the plan," she started, looking directly at Squall.  "Outside in the hall, I saw a giant cart full of clean blankets and stuff.  Hide him in that and don't go anywhere until I let you know!  Leave the rest up to me!" _This is going to be disastrous.  _ 

            As casually as he could, Squall untied the man's straightjacket, threatening him the whole time that if he tried something that he would have to whip out some major kung-fu on him.  Luckily, the man didn't try anything and Squall successfully covered him up in the laundry cart.

Then, as patiently as he could, he waited for the high sign from Selphie, even though he really had no idea what it was.  _This is the stupidest idea, _he thought.  _As if this doesn't look suspicious.  _He looked into the laundry basket, there was an unmistakable lump where the man hid because there weren't enough blankets to cover his bulk.

While waiting, Squall leaned against the wall, keeping a careful eye on the cart.  As he waited, an alarm sounded and a red light started flashing.  "Attention!  Several patients have escaped!  All personnel, please assist!" 

Selphie tore down the hallway back to where Squall was waiting.  "Hurry!  C'mon!  Let's get out of here!" she yelled throwing the keys back on the floor.  Not daring to ask what in the hell she did, Squall just nodded and followed her out.  Truth be told, he really didn't have to ask, as soon as he turned the hall, he saw it first hand.

Apparently, using the keys Selphie bummed off of the guard, she had unlocked several of the rooms and now many 'mentally unstable' people were running down the halls.  All of them were closely pursued by guards or some other form of management.  

"While they're distracted!  Hurry!" she hissed.  Trying not to laugh, Squall ran down the hallway next to her, pushing the laundry cart the whole way.  Surprisingly, they managed to get out without being noticed.  Even though lots of strange looks were following them on the street, they tried to ignore it.  If all went well, then they might get their bodies back extremely quickly.

Finally, after much running, they rounded a corner into an abandoned alley and pulled the miscellaneous sheets off of the man.  "Alright, where's the machine?" Squall asked him.

The man studied him for a while, then he answered, "In my apartment.  I made it considerably smaller this time so that people wouldn't notice it and get me committed," he looked back in the direction of Happyville Psychiatric Center with hatred.  "It was too late though," he sighed.

"Where is your apartment?" 

"On the other side of town." Squall rolled his eyes, "And you're gonna have to push me, you don't want people to see me and commit me again do you?  Then you wouldn't be able to switch back!" _Dammit! _

"Fine, get back in," Squall said irritably.  Excitedly, the man jumped back into the laundry cart.  "Where exactly do you live?" 

The walk there wasn't long distance-wise, but the two SeeDs were anticipating getting there so much, that it seemed like forever.  Finally, they reached the run down apartment that the man lived in.  After walking up several staircases they finally reached the man's room.  On the small mailbox beside the door it said 'Stewy Leward'.  _Ah, so that's his name.  _

Stewy led them inside, and it looked as if Hurricane Hugo had swept through it.  Papers, naughty magazines and Twinkie wrappers littered the floor.  Along with several bags of…Pixie Stix?  

"So where's the machine?" Selphie asked stuffing countless Pixie Stix into her pockets, trying not to look suspicious.  

"Over here," he said leading them into his room.  He plopped down on the floor and started looking under his bed, throwing random objects out from underneath in the process.  When he didn't find anything, he moved on to the closet.  

In the meantime, while Stewy was busy searching, Selphie was still stealing candy, and Squall was trying to remain sane.   "C'mon Squally!  Try a Pixie Stick!  I know you want one," she said swinging one in front of his face.

"No I don't," he replied remembering his recent dilemma while babysitting.  

"Yes you doooo…" she continued in a singsong voice.  

Turning his chair around, Squall faced the wall so as not to be tempted by flavored sugar.  "Yes Squall, they're calling you.  They're saying, 'Eat me!  Eat me!'" she said in a very high voice, pretending she was the Pixie Stick.

"I found it!" Stewy screamed from the next room.  _Just in time!  _Squall thought, it was getting harder and harder for him to resist the candy.  As fast as they could, the two ran into his room and saw him sporting a much smaller model of the machine.

"Are you sure it works?" Squall asked, his voice remained a monotone, but his eyes were wide with disbelief and excitement.  

Stewy nodded, "I tested it out, see!" he pointed to two separate cages on the other side of the room.  A cat inhabited one and the other had a snake.  It was truly creepy seeing that snake lick itself like that, and the cat was continuously sticking its tongue out.

"Well, that's enough proof for me!" Squall said happily, taking the machine out of the man's hands.  

"Have a nice day!" Selphie said giggling and she followed Squall out of the room, picking up several handfuls of Pixie Stix on the way out.

"Let's hurry and get to the Ragnarok!  We can switch back in there!" Squall insisted as he sprinted down the street.  Selphie however huffed and puffed behind him.  

"I can't make it!" she said as she dramatically fainted in the streets.  People from all around stared and were whispering things like, 'Is he alright?' 'I don't know, he just collapsed.'

"Get up!  We're almost done!" Squall whined trying his hardest to lift his own body.  Selphie opened an eye and smirked.

"Gotcha!" she laughed and started taking off down the street.  "I'm gonna beat ya!" she yelled.

Feeling much happier, Squall decided to join her game and race her back to the ship.  Once they finally got there, they ran up the ramp and into the cockpit.

"Hurry up!  I can't wait!" Selphie exclaimed excitedly bouncing up and down in place.  

"I'm hurrying!" Squall insisted as he tinkered around with the mechanism.  "Okay, here goes nothing!" he yelled pressing a big red button.  A giant blast sounded out and again knocked them back.  When Squall woke up, he was pleased to be looking down at his own body.

"Yes!" he exclaimed, then he did the most un-Squallish thing you could think of.  A victory dance.  Selphie however was sitting in the corner, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"What's wrong with you?  You should be happy!"

"I feel so yucky!" she squealed standing up.  "Did you not bathe at all while we were like that?" 

"Uhh…" Squall started uneasily.  

"Ewwww! Ew! Ew! Ew!" she started jumping around the cockpit complaining. 

"Okay, okay.  I'm going to get us back to Balamb, and you can take your shower and I can finally spend some time with Rinoa!" 

*A Little While Later, Back at Garden*

            It seemed that as soon as they entered the Garden, Selphie zoomed off in the direction of her dormitory.  Squall however, wandered around, hoping to find Rinoa in the process.  Eventually, after searching for about ten minutes, he found her walking around the library.

"Hey hun," he said softly putting his hands on her hips.  

"Squall?!" Rinoa asked in astonishment.  She spun around and saw that sure enough it was him.  Smiling she hugged him really tight.

"What was up with you?  You were acting so strange!" 

"I don't even want to think about it…" he said bluntly.  Rinoa nodded, then smiled up at him.  But, as she was looking him over, to make sure it was really him, she noticed something.  

"Pixie Stix?" she asked.  Squall looked down, and sure enough several Pixie Stix were hanging out of his miscellaneous pockets and some out of his gunblade's sheath.  Rinoa gave a sigh of disgust, "God Squall!  I thought you changed!  You leave me no choice," she yelled stomping off.

_What does she mean by that?_

*SOFT*

The group of girls had been camping out in the wilderness outside of Dollet ever since they had been seen.  No one wanted to admit it, but their mission had failed.  

"What's for dinner?  I'm starving!" Moomba said as she sat down on one of the logs around the fire.

"I don't know.  Anna's cooking." BreeAnne answered.

"Oh no…" everyone groaned in unison.  All five of the girls stared at the brunette who was now hurrying to the fire with a giant platter of what looked like fried chicken.

"Alright everyone!  Dig in!" she said happily placing the food in front of everyone.  For awhile, no one touched it, finally Ryuu being the brave person she was, tasted some of it.

"Good news everyone, its edible!" the girls sighed and everyone started eating the meal.

"Wow, this is pretty good," Mickayla said with her mouth full, "What is it?"

Anna looked uneasily around, "Ah, well you see.  Um, Aislinn, your chocobo bit me!"

The purple haired cowgirl spit the meat from her mouth, "You deep fried Henry?"  Looking horribly uncomfortable, Anna nodded and dodged a few random objects being thrown at her.  

"But chocobos are cute and fluffy!" Charity gasped.

"You know our rule," BreeAnne added in.

Everyone rolled their eyes and recited it together, "Thou shalt not attack unless thou is attackedith first."

"That's right," BreeAnne smiled from ear to ear.  "Now, you have to admit, fried chocobo doesn't taste that bad!" Aislinn sweat dropped, but said nothing.

After hearing what the food _really _was, hardly anyone touched it.  So, instead of eating the meat, they began snacking on junk food and candy that they had packed in their 'Survival kit'.  

As they laughed and joked around, a cell phone that was resting at Anna's hip started ringing.  "Yeah?" she answered it.

"Anna?  This is Anastasia." A girl said from the other line.

"Hey!  What's up?" pulling the phone away from her, she announced, "It's Anastasia!" 

"I wanna talk!  I wanna talk!" BreeAnne whined bouncing.

"Hold on!" Anna put the phone back to her ear, "So what's the scoop?" 

"I just got some information on Squall's whereabouts!" Anastasia said almost in a whisper.

Anna gasped, "We have information on Squall!" she yelled to everyone.  All the girls cheered.  "So where is he?"

"He was just committed."

"WHAT?!" now everyone was listening intently to their leader, trying to figure out the scenario as she was no longer talking but listening instead.

"Yeah, Rinoa's gotten a little weird ya know?  Anyway, on top of Squall's recent behavior epidemics and all, she saw that he's been Pixie Stix dependant and she committed him into that Nuthouse in Dollet."

"Is our Squally alright?" Charity asked worriedly.  Anna waved and hand and mouthed, 'Hold on.'

"Continue," she said into the phone.

"I heard you were all camping outside Dollet, so I thought you should know.  A bunch of people just dragged him out of Garden a little over an hour ago, so I don't know when he'll be arriving."

"Thanks for the information!" Anna said into the phone.  "Call if you get any more!" 

"I will, be careful!  Bye." 

Anna hung up the phone.  

"What's wrong with Squall?" Ryuu asked.

"Rinoa has betrayed Squally-kuns!  And now, we get to go save him!" Anna explained.

"Meanie," BreeAnne stuck her tongue out at the brunette.

"What?"

"I didn't get to talk!" 

"Fine," Anna laughed and threw her the phone.  "While you're messing around with it, be sure to call Nny."

"Nny?"

"The new recruit, computer hacker, two inches taller…"

"Oh!  Nny!" she laughed and dialed the number, "No one knows what my job is," she whined as she waited for the girl to pick up.

"What is your job?" everyone asked in unison, followed by laughing.  

"I'll remember that," BreeAnne yelled throwing the cellphone at Mickayla's head, her being the loudest laugher.  "Don't you people worry, because I will remember that."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Hehehe.  What will become of poor Squall?  Tune in next time for Part 11 of Trading Spaces!  And don't forget to review!  

Well, here we are sitting in BreeAnne's basement with Micky-chan (also known as Mickayla from the fanclub).  And we are thinking of what could be in the next/last chapter.

**Micky-chan**: Noooo!  It can't be ending! ::curls up into a ball and cries::

**Anna and BreeAnne**: Sadly yes, the next chapter of Trading Spaces will be the last.  We are thinking of possibly writing a sequel, but it probably wont be nearly as good as this one.

**Micky-chan**: But I want more!  More!  More!

**Anna and BreeAnne**: Okay!  Change of subjects!  We made the school play, A Midsummer Night's Dream.  And we get to be fairies and prance around the stage!  Yay!

  
**Micky-chan**: I want to be a fairy too, but I don't go to the same school anymore.  ::cries again::

**Anna and BreeAnne: **Sorry Micky-chan!  We still love you!

**Squall: **What am I doing here?  And where did you hide my Pixie Stix?

(The girls are seen stuffing a bag of Pixie Stix out of Squall's eyesight.)

**Squall: **I knew it!

**Laguna and Selphie: **(singing) We are family!

**Anna and BreeAnne: **Wow, that's almost everyone except…

(Irvine, Zell, Quistis, Seifer, Cid and Rinoa all burst through the doors)

**Selphie: **Yay!  We're all together like a big happy family!

(Everyone rolls his or her eyes)

**Anna, BreeAnne, and Micky-chan: **Daddy Longlegs!  Kill it!  Help!  (Throws shoes, pens and other random objects at the intruder)

**Squall: **It's so pathetic really that such a small monster can cause such destruction. (stomps on the nasty insect)

**Anna: **You saved me!  I love you Squall.  

**Squall: **I know.  :::sigh:::

**Rinoa: **Uh, excuse me?  
  


**Zell: **I like hotdogs…

**Irvine: **Yes, but how does that make you _feel?_ (remembering therapy with Kadowaki)

**Seifer: **I'm surrounded by morons.  Why did you have to put me in this fic anyway?

**Anna and BreeAnne: **Um, because we love you?

(Seifer snorts and crosses his arms)

**Laguna: **You love me too right?

**BreeAnne: **Oh God yes!

**Quistis: **Were we called here for a reason?  Or is this pointless?

**Anna, BreeAnne and Micky-chan: **Uhhh…Girls!  Now's your chance!  
  


(A herd of fangirls run into the room, most jumping on Squall and dragging him to a corner of the room.  Aislinn and Mickayla take Irvine instead.)

**Selphie: **Booyaka!  Oh!  And don't forget to review!  (Leaves to help untangle Irvine from the two maniacal girls)


	11. Break In!

Disclaimer: Hyne!  We don't own it!!!!

**Joryuusakka, xomoombaxo, Morning Star Selphie, That Really Weird Girl, Sporky Doom, Grasshopper, Micky-chan and Anastasia**: A shout out to all the fangirls!  Thanks girls for volunteering!  We enjoy writing those parts more than anything else!  

Renoa Heartilly, MastaDemonKitty, Lunar-Girl, xomoombaxo (again), Mary, Factor Matrix, and Koritsimou:  Thanks to all of you guys for adding us to your favorites!  You love us!  You really really love us! ^_^ And we love you too!  

All other reviewers that we didn't mention!:  Thanks to everyone of you, without your reviews we wouldn't have reached our goal!  Or passed it for that matter.  (Wow, 100 reviews…you have no idea how happy this has made us!)

A/N: Sorry everyone, this one didn't upload right the first time we tried it!  So here it is again, sorry about the confusion.  ::hides:: Don't hate us!  It was an accident!  

Anyway, we saw Selphie the other day!  Anyone here ever seen the Glad trash bag commercials?  Yup…that's her.  She's only disguising herself so that we wouldn't recognize her (even though we were too smart for her).  We have yet to find the others, however.  One day…we WILL find them!  Enough ranting…on with the story!

Break In!  

            "…And you were able to take his weapon away?" one doctor asked another.  They weren't able to put a straightjacket on the young man, but as long as he was locked up, their theory was he shouldn't cause too much trouble.

"Yes, he had to be restrained, but we got it."

"Good.  And you took his magic away as well?"

The other doctor looked around confusedly.  "I wasn't aware he had magic junctioned!" he yelled.  Hurriedly, the two ran to Squall's personalized rubber room and watched from the door's window.  It was obvious that the young man was off his rocker, be it really insanity or the amount of Pixie Stix he had consumed.

"Haste!" he yelled holding his hand out in front of him.  Suddenly, he started bouncing around the room at amazing speed, casting other random spells and destroying everything he could get his hands on.

Picking up the walkie talkie he had on his belt, the doctor put it to his lips and said, "We have a crisis in room 432, please assist.  I repeat, please assist," then he took a breath, and waited for backup.

*Laguna's Trauma*

"Look, President Loire…yes.  I am aware that they have taken Squall into custody.  B-But…" Cid was talking uneasily to a very upset Laguna.  

"What if they aren't feeding him right?  Wouldn't you feel _horrible _if something happened to him?  C'mon, admit it!  You would!"

Rolling his eyes, Cid complied.  "Yes sir, I would feel devastated,"

"Hey!  I've laid out the rules already haven't I?  Rule number one, NO BIG WORDS!  They confuse me, my vocabulary is limited, and I like it that way!  Rule number two, NOBODY HURTS MY BABY BOY!  And rule number three, you must only head bang to happy music."

To this last rule, Cid had no reply.  "Alright sir, since we obviously cannot change your mind we will send one of our top SeeDs to escort you."

"Thank you Headmaster Bob."

"Uh, it's Cid,"

"Dang, I wasn't even close was I?  Oh well, I thought for sure I would get it this time!"  Cid shook his head; he had been called Ezekiel, Sven, and Bartholomew.  He was starting to wonder whether or not this man would ever learn his name.  And he personally wondered why Laguna wasn't in the Nuthouse as well.

"I'll send a SeeD over as soon as I can," he sighed into the telephone receiver.

"Thanks so much Ralph!" 

"Yes, you're welcome President Loire," Cid hit himself on the forehead and tried his best to keep his mouth civil with the ignorant man.  "Bye," and with that he hung the phone.  Blowing air out of his mouth, he pushed a button on the intercom.

"Quistis, I need you on the deck," he said into the speaker.  Not much later, she was standing in salute in front of him.  

"Sir?" she asked, not moving anything except her lips.

"The president of Esthar, Laguna Loire, needs an escort to Dollet.  He seems to think that he will be able to 'free' Squall from the Nuthouse.  Don't let him do anything stupid," Cid ordered as he rubbed the temples on his head.  

"I will hereby do my best to be a successful escort for the president, sir!" she said military style.  With his spare hand, Cid waved her off and decided that a drink would calm him down.

Because Selphie and Squall had come back on the Ragnarok, it meant that it wasn't being used.  So she decided to use that method of transportation.  She boarded the airship and started on her way to Esthar.

*SOFT's Plan*

"Is everybody ready?" BreeAnne asked, smiling somewhat evilly.  The entire gang of girls was standing on a street corner 'disguised' as several circus performers.  Anna looked down at her belt; she had a walkie talkie for keeping in touch with Nny, a cell phone for Anastasia and the sheath for her katana.  Everyone did the same to make sure their weapons were in place.

"Wait a minute!" Ryuu exclaimed looking at her sheath.  "My weapon is gone!" sure enough, instead of her sword, she pulled a ladle out instead.

"Me too!" Moomba screamed as she stared at a wisk.

"Is this some sort of joke?" Charity screamed.  "Do you expect me to fight with this?" she held up a spatula.

"Yeah, because this _isn't _funny," Aislinn spat staring angrily at the toothbrushes that had been impersonating her throwing knives.

"Actually, it is, in a sort of inconvenient way," Mickayla pointed out, her new weapon was a curling iron.

"Wait, does that mean?!" Anna lifted up her sheath and started shaking it furiously.  Her katana was no longer in it, but there was a small sound coming from within.  Slowly, a single toothpick fell to the ground.

"But…BreeAnne has her…weapon," everyone's attention shifted to the smiling blond.  

"I told you that you would regret not knowing my job!  Here I am, supplying you with your weapons day after day, and I get no thanks!  So, I just shifted my supplying around."

The girls looked bewildered from her to the others.  Then, as one swift movement, they all started closing in on her.  "Hey, guys.  What are you doing?  Hey…what are you going to do with that ladle!?  Guys?  HELP!"

*Meanwhile, back at Garden*

Selphie was still lounging in her bath.  She had been for the last few hours, and she was starting to get quite pruny.  However she didn't care.  She felt icky!  And that was all that really mattered.  

"Have you ever seen me singing in the sunshine one lovely afternoon?  You can hear me if you really want, you can hear me clear pretty soon…" she sang and put the jets on.  The tub was almost overflowing with bubbles.

All of a sudden, just when she was _really _starting to enjoy herself, someone started knocking on the door.  Not a polite knock, it sounded like someone was trying to take the entire door down.   Impatiently, she stepped out of the tub and wrapped a pink towel around her.  

Still dripping wet, she walked to the door and opened it slightly, just enough to see who was bothering her in her time of bliss.  It was Rinoa, with her hands on her hips and she looked really upset.

"You've used all the hot water in Garden!  Are you happy?" she asked.

Smiling from ear to ear, Selphie nodded.  "Sure am!  Squall didn't bathe all week!"

"And that effects you how?" 

_Oops, shouldn't have said that.  _"I was just kidding Rinny!  Sorry 'bout that!  Now, can I finish my bath?" 

Looking slightly confused, Rinoa walked down the hallway to her dorm.  She decided to wait until later to take a bath.  But could it be that Selphie was acting normal again?

*Laguna's Trauma: Part II*

"Um, Mr. Loire, I seriously don't think it's a good idea to take that with you," Quistis said eyeing his machine gun.

"Why not?  I take Giggles with me everywhere!"

"Uh excuse me?  Will you repeat that last part?" she asked, trying to keep polite.

"I take Giggles with me everywhere,"

"And…Giggles is…?" As an answer, Laguna held up his machine gun.  Quistis shook her head and looked back out the cockpit window.  

"I'm boooooooorrrrrreeeedddd!" Laguna complained pacing the length of the cockpit.  "I wanna do something!" 

            Throw yourself out the window, do us all a favor… 

"Wouldn't it be great if you could read minds?" it was a random comment, and he knew it.  But he had always wondered.

_Crap, I hope he isn't hinting at anything!  _

"Uh, no it wouldn't," she answered.  "Then you would be able to tell if people don't like you…and…stuff."

"So?  It would still be cool.  And think of it this way, if they didn't like you, then you could blow them up!" Quistis flinched and decided that she wouldn't say anything.  So, because she wasn't talking, he decided that he would.

"Yeah, so I have this huge rash on my stomach!  You should see it!" he exclaimed as he started lifting his shirt.  _Hyne, help me._

*SOFT's Second Plan*

"Alright, now that we have our _real _weapons," Anna said looking over at BreeAnne.  "Then we have to talk to our computer hacker!" she threw the walkie talkie to Charity.  "That's your job!  Tell her that she needs to hack into Happyville Psychiatric Center's computer and shut down all of their security cameras."

Charity smiled big and brought the communication device to her mouth, "Nny, we have a, uh, situation 49-20 here on the chocobo's rear end," she said importantly.

"What was that?" Nny's voice came from the other end.

Charity rolled her eyes and said, "Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"I suppose, if you're going to talk like that,"

"We need you to shut off the Psychiatric Center's security cameras,"

"Will do," typing could be heard in the background.  "Okay, you have about twenty minutes approximately," Nny's voice said happily.

"You are cooler than a pig biscuit," Charity exclaimed and put the walkie talkie on her hip.  "Done!" she smiled.  

"Alright, now you get a hold of Anastasia and get the information," Anna said grabbing her cell phone and handing it to Mickayla.

As Mickayla talked on the phone, Ryuu started drawing out a detailed map and walkthrough of their plan.  The briefing sounded a lot like, "We will start at point A, and work our way to point B.  Between there, we will stop at point C and D for a break…" Everyone listened, listened and pretended like they understood what was going on, or slept.  

"Everyone understand?" she finally asked looking up from her map with a big cheesy smile.  All the girls nodded, except for Aislinn who had fallen asleep.  Moomba nudged the cowgirl with her elbow and she yawned.

"Hmmm?" she looked around and waited for her eyes to adjust to the light, "yeah, bright and clear."

Ryuu smiled again, "Good!" 

"Squall is in room number 432, on the second floor, and it is guarded heavily!" Mickayla announced setting the phone down.  Everyone groaned.  

Standing up, BreeAnne started to pace between the members of the fanclub, "Alright girls.  This is it.  The final battle.  I don't need to tell you how important it is.  So lets go in there and bust some butt!" everyone cheered and got up.

"Wait!!!  Wait!!!" came a voice from behind them.  Huffing and puffing, a girl came up from behind.  Her short blond hair was untidy and she had several papers in her hand.  "I…need to…talk…to your…leader," she said between gasping for breath.

"What is it?" Anna asked stepping forward.

"Can I please, please, please, please, _please _join the fanclub?" she asked clasping her hands together and getting on her knees, in the begging position.  "I am just another helpless Squall fanatic!"

"Well, most of our meetings are held in Garden…" 

"Oh, oh, oh!  I'll get a ride!  I'll _move _there if I have to!" she continued to plead.

"You love Squall right?"

"YES!"

"Then, welcome to the club!" almost everyone said in unison.  The girl almost passed out with joy.  

"What's your name?" Moomba asked.

"Grasshopper."

"Welcome, young Grasshopper," Charity said sarcastically.  

"Now…come on everyone!  We must rescue Squall!" Mickayla reminded everyone.  Importantly, they all turned to face the Psychiatric Center and started walking slowly toward their destination.

*Selphie*

After being in the bath almost all day, Selphie decided she would get out.  Actually, it was more like after every single member of Garden came knocking at her door, complaining for the lack of hot water, she was forced to get out.

So, stepped out and quickly put some pajamas on.  The plan was to watch movies and snuggle up and go to sleep, but that was highly unlikely.  For one, her favorite movie, 'Steel Magnolias' looked like it had been thrown around the room and was crushed.  Another thing was that she realized something she hadn't before.

When Selphie set foot in Garden, she was so ready to take a bath that that was the only thing on her mind.  She didn't notice her vandalized Irvine shrine until she got out of the bath.  

Mouth hanging wide open, she stared at the several drawn on posters.  "Irvy?  Who did this to you?" she whispered and put her head against one of the posters, stroking it.  "You say Squall did?  How dare he!" Talking to inanimate objects…not a good sign. Maybe she should be in the Nuthouse as well.

*BREAK IN!*

All eight of the fangirls were leaned up against the outside of the Psychiatric Center, all murmuring and trying to remain 'hidden'.  

"Okay," Anna whispered, putting a finger against her mouth to silence everyone.  "On the count of three.  One, two…THREE!" 

The horde of girls stampeded through the doors, weapons raised, trying to look dangerous.  The woman behind the counter stared at them with wide eyes and stayed frozen to her spot.

"Put the money in the bag!" Charity yelled.

Moomba slapped herself in the forehead and nudged the over excited girl, "Wrong line smart one," she said rolling her eyes.  Charity blushed and looked back at everyone for help. 

"Group huddle!" BreeAnne shouted, and with that everyone huddled together to see what she had to say.

"Okay, since the direct assault didn't work," she looked at Charity, trying to hold back a laugh, "we need to CHARGE!" 

All the girls nodded and turned to look at the hallway.  

"FOR SQUALL!" they yelled in unison, and then they started running down the hall, leaving the woman looking horrorstruck and horribly confused.

"C'mon girls!" Mickayla yelled raising her sword.  The fanclub followed in suit.  Even though most of the hallway wasn't guarded, it wasn't long before there were personnel following them shouting angrily.

The battle for Squall had begun.  Who would win?

*Laguna's Trauma: Part III*

"CHAAAARGE!" the middle aged man screamed jumping off of the airship.  

Agitatedly, Quistis put her palm against her forehead, "President Loire, must you always insist on taking things so drastically?" she asked.  Yet, the man just continued running with his machine gun held above his head, babbling incoherently.

_My rank is going to go down because of him.  Oh well, as long as there aren't any casualties they can't do much, _she told herself optimistically and followed him through the bustling streets.

"Now, uh.  Where exactly are we going Ms. Trepe?" Laguna turned to face the SeeD.  

Quistis slapped herself on the forehead, "I thought you knew the name of the place!"  Sadly, Laguna shook his head.  Now stark raving mad, however managing to keep her cool, Quistis said through gritted teeth, "Alrighty then, there can't possibly be that many psychiatric centers in Dollet can there?"

*Change to Plan C*

"We've caught the intruders sir," Rudy (a.k.a the guy who was knocked out by Selphie) said in salute to a doctor, "but we didn't have enough rooms for them all.  We put them in room 528."

"TOGETHER?!" the doctor raged.  Flinching at the sudden burst of anger, Rudy nodded.  "Then you will have to watch them and make sure they can't get out."

"Yes sir!" the man said almost military style.  Casually waving him off the doctor returned to his work.  

Rudy walked, beaming down the hallway.  Last week he had let one of the prisoners escape, but no!  Not this week.  He wasn't going to fall for any of those stupid tricks.  Feeling rather important at the time, he swung the door open to room 528 to see eight girls tied up in straightjackets and looking quite defeated.  Smiling, he stood inside the room and assumed his 'tough guy' position, where he crossed his arms across his chest and tried to look threatening.

Either out of boredom or really losing her mind, BreeAnne was banging her head on the padded floor.  "Guys this is fun!  You've gotta try it!"

"Group huddle!" Anna called.  Everyone began scooting on their butts to a place in the middle of the room and started to talk in whispers.

"We have to get out of here!" the leader announced.  All the girls rolled their eyes.

"We know," everyone said in unison.

"Any ideas?" Ryuu asked looking around.  

"Spoons!" Charity exclaimed.  "We can dig out using spoons!"

"Where would we get the spoons?" Aislinn pointed out.

"Didn't BreeAnne exchange everyone's weapons?  Did anyone keep theirs?" Grasshopper looked around hopefully at all the blank expressions.

"I did!" Mickayla smiled, "But I'm not sure what good a curling iron is going to do us, besides they took it away." Everyone moaned.

"Anyone have magic left?  Or did they take that too?" 

"I do!  I do!" Moomba exclaimed.  "I managed to save one Confuse!" 

"That's great!  Hit him with it!" Anna said pointing to Rudy.

"Ahem…I can't use my hands," she said looking down at the straight jacket.

"Oh that's right…" the fanclub was silent for a while as everyone mused about how they would be escaping.  

"I know!  We can use our telepathic powers to send him away!" BreeAnne said a little too loud.  It didn't matter how many times people told them, most of the girls in the fanclub were _positive _they had telepathy.  

Everyone began concentrating really hard, except for Grasshopper who looked around confusedly.  Before long she decided she might as well join in.  Aislinn continued to look at everyone and think _Squall fans are way too weird.  _

Rudy, who was still too busy trying to look cool didn't notice anything going on.  Even if the girls were really telepathic, his head would be too thick to get into.  Aislinn, noticing this, decided she would help.  "Hey, um buddy," she called to him.

Without turning around, he grunted as if making it clear he was listening.  "Hey, there are only eight of us here," 

"Yeah?" he said, still facing away.  This was a good thing; being that seven out of the eight girls had their eyes shut tight and were murmuring random things.  

"Well…uh, Martha isn't here," Aislinn lied.

"Martha?" 

"Yeah, she came in with us and pft, she's gone.  Probably off trying to get Squall to marry her or something."

"She's disturbing the other patients?!" he roared.

"Most likely.  You might want to go look for her." Aislinn advised, trying to disguise her snickering as coughing.

"Revenge shall be mine!" he yelled charging out of the room.  Smiling in triumph, she shook (er…rather nudged with her shoulder) the person closest to her, Moomba.  

"Let's get outta here!" the two girls worked on getting the rest of the members out of their 'state of concentration', then they all made their way out, hopping on their butts.  All of them thinking that it was their telepathy that saved the day.

"Where are we going?" Ryuu asked looking at Anna.

"Psh, I don't know!  Let's get these off first!" the brunette said, referring to the straightjackets. Fortunately for them, the halls were empty.  Rudy had obviously gotten everyone running around on the wild goose chase trying to find the Martha that didn't exist. 

The first one to get out of her straightjacket was Charity.  Using her teeth, Mickayla had undone Charity's bindings and so now, the brunette was busy getting everyone else out of theirs.  It was a long process, but it wasn't too long before it was done with.  

Finally, able to stand up and use their arms properly again, the fanclub decide to have a meeting in the nearest bathroom.  Being out of weapons, and definitely out of plans, they were forced to muse for a while.  As much as they hated to admit it, they were all out of ideas.

So, the plan was to make it up as they went.  Hurriedly, the fanclub ran down the abandoned halls, hoping they wouldn't run into any trouble.  Finally, they had made it to Squall's room, to find that that was where all the staff seemed to be.  

"Yes, her name is Martha," Rudy was telling everyone.  "Are you sure you haven't seen her?" all the doctors shook his or her head.  Looking tired and impatient, Rudy continued, "Then could you possibly help me find her?" 

"We'll look, you stay here," one of them finally said.  "This guy is a special case, someone needs to keep watch at all times." Forgetting all about his other job, Rudy smiled and nodded.  The lot of doctors ran down the hall.

"Hey, Moomba.  You still have that Confuse don't you?" Ryuu whispered.  Moomba nodded.  "Aim it for Rudy." 

Smiling uncomfortably, she did as she was told.  "Confuse," she whispered, but she didn't aim well and she hit Grasshopper instead.

Aislinn hit herself in the forehead.  "Good job, now what do we do?" Grasshopper began jumping the hallway in such a fashion she really did resemble a grasshopper.  

"We can use her as a decoy!" Anna exclaimed watching the girl spin in circles.  "Go that way!" she pointed to where Rudy stood.  Grasshopper began to hop but in the opposite direction.

"She's confused, we won't be able to communicate with her," Mickayla pointed out.

"Charity!" BreeAnne yelled, "You never really make sense, see if you can communicate with her!" 

Beaming, she complied.  Everyone watched as she worked her magic on the confused girl, and what really made them happy is that Grasshopper did understand her.  The crazed girl started running in circles directly in front of Rudy.

"What do you think you are doing?" he asked, standing away from the wall.  "What…how?  Did you get out of your room?"  

Much to everyone's liking, he started chasing after her, giving them time to run into Squall's room.  Right before they opened the door, BreeAnne turned around and whispered, "Haste," sending the spell directly to Grasshopper.  

"Where did you get that?!" Moomba asked.

"I always carry Hastes with me!" the blond said smiling widely.  

"Apparently," Ryuu mumbled.

"Ready?" Anna said; her hand was on the doorknob.  "One, two, three!" she flung the door open, and in a frenzy of screaming and jumping up and down, the girls ran in and carried the estranged SeeD out.  

Finally, a successful mission.

*Laguna's Trauma: Part IV*

Quistis held her chain whip over her head.  They had visited seventeen different psychiatric centers!  Of course, not one of them was the one they were looking for!  She was starting to doubt whether or not there were that many crazy people in the world.  However, she was quickly losing patience and was on the verge of knocking the President out.

"Hey!  Quistis!  I found it!"  _Yeah right.  That's what he said last time, and the time before, and the time before that.  _

Automatically upon getting close to the building, the man collapsed on the ground and started to army crawl in.  Quistis however was not in the mood for joking around and resumed walking normally beside him.  

"That isn't safe!" he said pulling on her leg, causing her to collapse next to him.  

"President Loire, we are never going to get there if you insist on crawling all the way," she said angrily.  Laguna licked his dry lips and nodded.  

"Yeah, we'll have to charge in there, demand they send him out, and charge back out!" he got up and cocked his machine gun.  "C'mon Ms. Trepe!  No one lives forever!" Then he ran.  Waving his machine gun over his head like a crazed maniac.

Quistis shook her head; this could cost her her job.  But she continued to follow the man.  When she got inside the psychiatric center, it was too late.

"Nobody move!  This is a stick-up!" he ordered pointing Giggles at everyone who happened to be in the entryway at that minute.  

Quistis shook her head and stood behind him, mouthing, "He isn't serious, don't mind him.  He's unstable."

"Quisty!  C'mon!  Let's go get'em!"  

Rolling her eyes, she followed him through the halls again.  It surprised even her how much energy Laguna had as a man his age.  She kept up with him, and when they finally found the room that Squall was _supposed _to be in, it was surrounded by personnel.  

"What's happened?!" he exclaimed.

"We've had a break out…" the doctor said eyeing the machine gun, but didn't say anything about it.  

Keeping her professional look to her, Quistis looked at the doctor, "Is it anything serious that needs taken care of?" 

"No, a bunch of teenage girls just stampeded in here and carried the SeeD commander out."

"Squall!  He's alive!  HE'S ALIVE!" Laguna said as he dramatically dropped to his knees.  "Well, then I guess we're done here.  Come on Quistis!" 

Quistis put a single hand against her forehead.  _He's trying to kill me, that's it.  _She followed the middle aged man out of the psychiatric center.  

"I'm sorry," he was saying to all the people who were still petrified with fear in the entryway.  "I didn't mean it, I'm sorry.  You can go back to doing what ever you were doing."

Needless to say, she was a very happy bunny when they got back to the Ragnarok.  She sat in the pilot seat.  _All I have to do is take him back to Esthar, then I can go home and relax in a nice hot bath.  _

Much to her liking, most of the trip was silent.  Laguna was wandering around the ship messing with whatever he could get his hands on.  After a few minute however he was back in the cockpit.    
  


She wasn't paying much attention to him however, she was trying to keep both eyes concentrating on where she was steering the ship.  "What does this button do?" he asked, sporting a small machine.  

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Sorry if anyone thought we 'bashed' them for the fangirls.  We had to come up with some of it while we were at play rehearsal, and quite frankly we've been running out of ideas.  However, there is a good chance there will a be a sequel.  Just let us get our brains functioning properly again.  (Too many late nights with Pixie Stix).  We might post something as a 'space filler' to let you know if whether or not we will actually write a sequel.  Hope you enjoyed it, and don't forget to review!   Oh!  And Alyssa Wallis has full credit of the words 'pig biscuit'.


	12. Space Filler and Sequel Information!

Disclaimer: We didn't know if we had to post one for a space filler or not….OH WELL!  Don't own…don't sue.

Space Filler!

            Since you people wanted a sequel…well, you've got yourself one!  Of course we still have yet to write it.  We have some ideas, just not many.  We'll keep you updated on how the story is going in our bio…(aaalllllll the way down on the bottom ^_^) Feel free to submit ideas (just like in Trading Spaces) you are welcome to send as many as you like.  You can either review us the ideas, or email us at Kawaiiblonde@hotmail.com! 

However, you will have to wait a while for us to write it.  Our Beta-Reader is in Germany right now, and she won't be back for about a month.  We don't want to start writing anything without her.  (We miss ya Vivi-chan!)

Anyways, B-chan wants me to write an epilogue for the story, but it wouldn't be very long.  Maybe we'll post something with the sequel.  We aren't sure of what we'll call it.  Trading Spaces II sounds just a little…boring and uncreative.  If you have any title ideas, you can email/review them as well!  Thanks everyone for reading our story, and we hope you enjoyed Trading Spaces!  ^_^  


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